Seven Minutes In Heaven
by iamsuperlocked
Summary: Based on season five beginning with 5.14 Dean has a crush on Castiel but is in a bit of denial. He becomes sick with guilt when Cas falls ill. He stays with him and says something he didn't think he meant. Even in a comatose state Cas heard his words that Dean would like to think never happened. Continues on from 5.14 till season 6 destiel
1. Chapter 1

**A/n So I don't normally put one of these first but I am just to say that this chapter takes place at the end of episode 5.13 after Cas shows up in the motel, passes out and Dean makes his "Team Free Will" speech. Enjoy.**

"It's been a long few days," Sam agreed, "lend me the keys and I'll go get us some food." Dean pulled the keys to the Impala out of his pocket and tossed them to Sam who left the motel in one swift movement. He could hear him start the car just outside the window and drive away. He adverted his eyes back to the comatose angel passed out on the foot of Sam's bed. The sickening pang of guilt that had been residing in the pit of his stomach all weekend worsened when he took in Castiel's condition. It started when he zapped them back in time and they found him close to passed out coughing up blood. Dean didn't want to leave him alone in the hotel but there was no way they could lug him around and know for sure his dead-to-the-world body was safe, and that would just waste time. So he made damn sure Cas had gotten the nicest room in the hotel and left him a note incase he woke up. The note had read, "You passed out and we couldn't guarantee we could keep you safe so I had to leave you here. Please forgive me. Call me when you wake up. 555-2476. Sorry, Dean." He left his number just incase Cas was confused when he woke. That's when the guilt had started. Guilt from causing him too use too much power, guilt from him falling so ill, and guilt from having to leave him behind. It had followed him through everything he had done on his trip back in time till now. It carved at his gut, leaving a feeling worse than when the Hellhounds used him as a chew toy. And on top of it he couldn't figure out what made him feel so guilty and leave the aching in his chest and the nausea in his stomach. However, looking at his limp body just now he never would think of doing something like this to him again and made a simple vow with himself that he would try harder to protect his best friend next time because that's who Cas was, his best friend, he was nearly as important as Sammy.

He carefully picked up the angel and positioned him into a more comfortable position on his own bed propping a pillow under his head. He found some ibuprofen in the bathroom cabinet and got a tall glass of water. He highly doubted it would do anything for the powerful being, but he very carefully poured a few pills down Castiel's throat hoping it would prevent a possible fever or massive migraine, again he thought to himself that it probably wouldn't do anything, but there was no reason not to try. Dean sat next to him on the bed propping up his feet. He gently started running his fingers through his hair hoping it would soothe him or help him wake up.

"I'm so sorry Cassie. I can't believe I let this happen to you. I won't let you hurt yourself like this again. You have to be more careful._ I_ have to be more careful. I have to protect you better, like I protect Sam. I can't lose you Cas. I love you." Dean yanked his hand back to his side and stood up. He couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth. He just wanted to talk to Cas, comfort him, possibly coax him out of his coma he did read somewhere familiar smells and voices can pull people out right? Or was that just his imagination? Either way he still couldn't believe what he had said. Did he love Cas? No. That was preposterous. Yes he did love Cas but he didn't _love_ him. Surely that's what he meant when he said it right?

_Right,_ Dean assured himself, _that's exactly what you meant. _

After calming himself down he resumed his position next to Cas, opting not to touch him again but just offering comfort-from-a-distance. However he was incapable of pulling his gaze away from the angel's calm face.

"Am I interrupting something?" Sam said smiling as he tossed a bag of food at Dean. Dean never having noticed his return.

"No." Dean said sternly ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks. "I just feel guilty."

"Don't. It's Cas he'll be perfectly fine." Sam reassured.

"Yeah you're right." Dean nodded and bit into his burger trying to ignore the nausea to keep Sam's suspicions at bay. The brothers ate in silence, Dean sneaking a look at Cas every so often convinced Sam never noticed. Sam resisted saying something to Dean about the stares but kept quite, figuring he wanted it to seem like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on, but Sam saw right through him.

"Hey, so it's getting late, I think I'm going to go to sleep now." Sam spoke pulling Dean out of his trance.

"Oh uh yeah I guess I'll sleep too." Dean mumbled.

"With Cas?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows. Dean turned back to look at Cas and shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever. He's out cold." Dean claimed. Sam nodded his head smiling. Dean took off his jeans and slid under the covers next to Cas. He sunk into the sheets trying not to make his pleasure apparent to Sam.

Dean could feel Cas's cool breath on the back of his neck. He could even smell Cas from where he was. He smelt like new leather, just fallen rain, fresh cut grass, and a touch of gunpowder. The smell was intoxicating and soothed Dean to sleep quickly, the guilt slowly evading his gut.

* * *

When he woke a few hours later, the sun was filtering through the motel blinds, he saw Cas had gone. He was upset he left, but relieved he had recovered.

"Finally awake?" Sam called out to him.

"Mmm." Dean grumbled.

"Cas left." Sam informed him.

"I noticed." he grumbled crawling out of bed getting ready for a shower.

"We're gonna head out. Bobby called said something about two people eating each other to death." Dean paused before walking into the bathroom.

"Ate themselves to death?" Dean said incredulously.

"Yup."

"Shit just keeps getting nuttier." Dean scoffed climbing into the hot water.

**A/N So I hope you liked it. It's shorter than I'd prefer but I hope it's still just as good. I'm going to try to stay with the timeline for at least two more episodes, 5.14 My Bloody Valentine, and 5.15 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid. I have some ideas for both those episodes and I'll either stick with it for a few more and venture off or just venture off. Depends where the story leads. Thanks for reading! Don't be afraid to review! I don't bite! I accept all anonymous reviews so anyone can leave one. Much love! Tootles! xoxo.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n So this chapter takes place during 5.14, My Bloody Valentine. This is one of my favorite episodes. Incase you were wondering. I used some of the actual quotes from the show. I do not own any part of Supernatural, as much as I wish I did. Enjoy!**

* * *

The drive to the new job was a long one, taking a couple days to even get to the state. But for Dean the trip seemed so much longer. Dean was tired, he was stressed and his muscles were strained straight down to the bone. He was miserable. His brain hurt and he just wanted a drink. He'd asked Sammy to do the majority of the driving, leaving Dean to pretend to nap and be left wallowing in his thoughts. Thoughts he didn't want to think about. How cliché. He wanted the thoughts-or fantasies rather-to go away. But they wouldn't. And he knew they wouldn't. This time Cas would not be leaving his mind. He blamed it on himself. If he hadn't said those words he supposedly didn't mean, he wouldn't be thinking about him. He wouldn't be thinking about kissing him, or touching him, or pressing their bodies together. He wouldn't be feeling the ache in his chest, the turning in his stomach or the chills in his spine. He'd tried to convince himself it was a good thing Cas hadn't been around because his chest would probably explode and Dean would lose his mind and do something irrational. But Dean told himself he'd rather have that then the desperate longing to see Cas' face and hear his beautiful voice and possibly be able to touch him. If Cas was here he probably wouldn't be feeling the deep ground jealousy of anyone that could be with him, or near him, or talking to him, or touching him. Forget actually seeing Cas. Thinking about him was making him lose his mind. On top of all the intense feelings he was battling with himself. He was determined to convince himself his feelings weren't real. The thoughts he was having about Cas and the feelings he had for him weren't legitimate. He had no idea what they were, but they weren't his true feelings. That's what he told himself anyway, all the way to the motel parking lot.

* * *

After Sam and Dean checked into a motel Sam went off to the house where the starved lovers ate each other to death. Dean got the unfortunate task of getting to visit the morgue to check out the dead bodies. The site of them sent a small chill down his back, he didn't really know where it came from however, seeing as this isn't the worst he's ever seen, but it did rank up in one of the most irking deaths. Dean beat Sam back to the hotel and read over the files, after a while Sam returned to the motel explaining to Dean his discoveries, leaving them both baffled, and a bit disgusted.

"Well I'm going to stick around and go over the files, you can get goin'. Release the Kracken. Or whatever."

"Where exactly am I going?" Dean asked confused.

"Dean it's Valentine's Day. Your favorite holiday, what do you always call it? Uh..unattached drifter Christmas?"

"Yeah well, I don't know. I just don't feel like going out." But Dean did know why he didn't want to go out. He just could never admit. He couldn't even admit it to himself.

"You're not into bars filled with lonely women?" Sam pestered. Why was he being so pesky?

"Guess not." Dean admitted taking a swig of beer. Hopefully the alcohol would wash away all the reasons he didn't want to go out. All the reasons he'd rather ignore.

"Something's wrong." Sam continued.

"Nothing's wrong Sammy. Matter of fact, now I do feel like going out. I'm just gonna drive around call me if you need me." Dean got up from the table and trudged out to Baby. He climbed in and started her up. He was annoyed with Sam for bringing up the holiday and his usual routine. He'd had rather ignored it this time around opting for something else. Something he wished he didn't want. But deep down he absolutely ached for it, and nothing could shake that feeling.

"Hello Dean," rasped the familiar voice coming from the passenger side of the car. Dean only jumped just a little this time, becoming more used to Cas' extra surprising surprise visits.

"Hey Cas." Dean responded trying to hide the racing of his heart. Cas scooted a little closer to Dean on the seat, their knees just barely touching. Dean caught his breath, his chest pounding, this, all of this was what he was trying to avoid.

"Thank you for taking care of me the other night."

"Yeah. No problem."

"Also Dean, I," Cas paused approaching his next sentence with caution, "I know what you said to me."

"Everything?" Dean chocked.

"Yes all of it."

"Well, you know, I didn't actually mean it, like that anyway, I was just, feeling guilty, and it just, it just slipped out.."

"Dean," Cas rasped, "it's fine.." Dean pulled over to the side of the road, he managed to drive himself into the middle of nowhere. Dean wanted to avoid this conversation, seeing as his feelings weren't real anyway, right?

"What do you mean 'it's fine'?"

"I, I may be thinking the same, way as you." Cas whispered fumbling with a button on his trench coat.

"What are you trying to say Cas?" Dean whispered.

"I guess I'm saying if you were to um...kiss me now...I-I wouldn't be opposed." Dean's heart raced, a flipping, butterfly-like feeling twirling around his stomach. He didn't really want to kiss Cas did he? Somehow he found himself leaning closer to Castiel, his lips lightly grazing Cas'.

"Don't tease, Dean." Cas whispered, there lips just barely touching. Dean pressed his lips forcefully against Cas' completely out of impulse. Their lips moved together at a fiery pace. Their tongues met and Dean pulled Cas' head closer to his own, deepening the kiss. A chill ran up Dean's back and a fire started in the pit of his stomach, slowly heading a little more south. He pulled Cas' whole body closer to his own aching to feel him against his body. There groins rubbed together and Dean let out a loud moan. He leaned back and pulled Cas' body on top of his. Cas slipped his hand under his shirt and pulled it off. He could feel Cas' hands exploring his torso, followed by his mouth and tongue. Once Cas was convinced he had covered every inch he placed his chin on Dean's chest and stared up at him. Dean started running his fingers through Cas' hair

"I had been waiting for you to kiss me for a long time, Dean." He whispered.

"I wish I had figured this out earlier. I like kissing you."

"I love you." Castiel whispered seriously. Dean pulled Cas to his mouth and kissed him passionately.

"I should go. Sam will worry," He mumbled between kisses, "but maybe I can let him worry just a little bit longer." he said kissing Cas harder then he had before.

Dean came into the hotel and hour and a half after he bad originally told Cas he had to go.

"You stayed out late." Sam teased from behind his laptop.

"Yeah. I drove around for a while."

"Alone?" Sam asked crawling into bed.

"Alone." Dean confirmed crawling into his own bed wishing Cas was in it with him.

* * *

The next morning Sam and Dean got a call from the doctor in the morgue informing them of a new double suicide. They took a trip down to the hospital to examine the bodies. The doctor informed them that he had already autopsied and removed the organs. He tossed them the keys and told them to make sure they packaged everything up before they left. Sam and Dean looked at each other and began looking over the organs. It was a long time ago when Dean had gotten over the sight and smell of dead bodies and all that came with them but even still, they were always just a bit repulsive. Dean was looking over one of the hearts when he slid it towards Sam and asked him to be his valentine with a smirk. That was when Sam noticed a symbol on it. He quickly grabbed the other heart and found a matching symbol. Upon closer inspection they assumed it to be Enochian.

"Like what Cas put on our ribs." Dean stated.

"Dean, I don't know." Sam said. Dean pulled out his phone and quickly dialed the number he memorized long ago,

"Cas, it's Dean. Yeah room 31 C, basement level, St. James Medical Cent.."

"I'm there now." Cas said to his face, causing his heart to flutter.

"Yeah I get that."

"I'm gonna hang up, now."

"Right.." Dean responded feeling silly. But it was nice, doing something so childish and stupid with Cas. Making sure Sam wasn't looking, Dean leaned over and kissed Cas on the temple, causing him to break a smile. Dean led Cas over to the hearts and point to the symbols. He confirmed that they were in fact the angelic marks claiming a Cupid inscribed them.

"Cupid?" Sam and Dean said simultaneously.

"Yes. They are a lower form of angel called Cherub."

"Cherub?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, there all over the world, dozens of them."

"So what are you saying?" Sam asked.

"I'm saying a Cupid has gone rouge. We have to stop him, before he kills again."

"Naturally." Sam said.

"Of course we do." Dean said giving Cas an annoyed look. They made there way to a local restaurant for dinner, Cas guessed it would be the next area the Cupid would hit. Dean ordered his usual burger and Sam a salad. Dean took a bite of the burger, it was delicious but for some reason he just wasn't hungry, and plopped back down on his plate.

"You're not hungry?" Sam said incredulously. Dean looked awkwardly between Sam and Cas on the on the side of the table.

"No. I guess not."

"So you're not gonna finish that?" Cas said quickly. Dean barely had the chance to shake his head before Cas was reaching in front of him and grabbed the plate, about to shove it in his mouth. Both Sam and Dean gave him a look of disbelief as he put the burger down and pointed to a couple he was sure were just hit by the Cupid.

"Meet me in the back." He rasped before instantly vanishing. Sam and Dean gave each other a 'Yup. This is my job.' type look before getting up, tossing down a fifty, and heading to the back of the restaurant. They found him with his hand out most likely in attempt to summon the Cupid. He began speaking Enochian. They looked around the empty room, seeing nothing.

"Where is he?" Dean asked noticing that he was obviously no where to be seen.

"Here I am!" said a loud excited voice from behind him. Suddenly he was lifted up from behind and pulled into an overly uncomfortable hug.

"Help!" Dean called out waiting for one of them to do something. The Cupid jostled him around in the awful hug before dropping him when he noticed Cas.

"Hello you!" he cheered heading straight for him. That was when Dean noticed he was naked. His eyebrows rose into his hairline and his jealously awkwardly skyrocketed when the Cupid latched onto Cas. Not like Cas appeared to be enjoying it but still, Dean was jealous.

"This is Cupid?!" Dean said frantically.

"Yes." Cas managed to squeeze out through his torturous hug.

"Oh look at you!" The Cupid called out heading for Sam.

"No!" Sam said quickly

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" The cupid said nodding and pulling him into a tight hug. Dean tried not to laugh out loud.

"This is their handshake." Cas told Dean.

"I don't like it!"

"No one likes it." Cas said staring down the Cupid. Cas started interrogating the Cupid, causing him to cry and panic. He claimed he wasn't killing anybody and as much as Dean wanted to doubt him, he also highly doubted that the he was killing anybody. He had Cas read his mind and they discovered he was telling the truth. They inquired him about his duties and such which led to him telling the story about how they Cupids had to match up Sam and Dean's parents. He had acted so giddy about it and it pissed Dean off.

"And then there's you two." The Cupid said gesturing to Dean and Cas.

"Excuse me?" Dean paused staring him down.

"Oh yeah! Other Cupids have been talking about you two for months. Some were even considering going against orders and shooting you guys but apparently that's not necessary anymore!" He said winking. Cas' face grew hot and he turned to Dean.

"What does he mean?" Sam asked Dean.

"I-I have no idea!" Dean stammered.

"Don't deny love Dean!" the Cupid said. Dean hated this guy more and more with each second.

"Love?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows.

"Why yes!" The Cupid said excitedly.

"Hey, pal! Either shut up or get lost!" Dean shouted upsetting the Cupid and making him cry again. He left instantly.

"So what the hell has been up with you two?" Sam spat. Dean sighed deeply turning to Cas.

"When I went out driving on Valentine's Day, I-I wasn't alone."

"You were with Cas?" Sam asked making it sound more like a statement.

"We-hooked up. I guess." Dean admitted, face red. Cas was trying somewhat to hide himself behind Dean in attempt to conceal his red cheeks.

"You screwed an angel, Dean?" Sam said.

"No!" Dean and Cas replied at the same time.

"We just, kissed. A lot." Cas spoke nervously. Sam broke a smile at the still apparent innocence of the angel. At least Dean hadn't ruined that.

"I got to admit, the Cupids weren't the only ones waiting for this. But what I don't get, is why didn't you tell me? Either of you." Sam said also glancing at Cas.

"Well I figured it was Dean's place to tell you." Cas piped up quickly, an almost invisible smirk stretching across his lips as he looked to Dean.

"Why thank you much Angel face." Dean said condescendingly. "Don't use pet names in front of me. Please." Sam pleaded.

"He only does that when he's annoyed with me." Cas said smiling at Sam proudly. Again, he had to smile at the blatant innocence.

"So why didn't you tell me Dean." Sam asked again.

"I-I didn't want you to tease me. Or Cas." Sam snorted.

"Come on, I tease you about a lot of things but I know when I shouldn't. I mean, I still will, but I'll never be serious." Dean gazed at Sam looking for the sincerity.

"You have no problem with me and Cas hooking up behind your back?" Dean asked.

"No. I've pretty much been expecting it since you two met. You've been dancing around each other for ages."

"Shut up bitch."

"Jerk."

* * *

The next day Sam returned to the morgue for another strange death. The doctor explained to him that the man went on a wild Twinkie binge and his stomach burst. It was fairly disgusting. But disappointingly he noticed the heart wasn't marked by cupid. Back to square one. When he left he called Dean claiming the recent finding that the heart had not had the marking. Dean had visited the police station and found there had been 8 suicides and 19 O.D.'s, an unusually high number in the area. They hung up and both planned to head back to the hotel. But when Sam hung up the phone he saw a man with a briefcase walking out of the hospital. For some reason his heart started beating erratically and he had no clue why. Until he realized the loud pulse was coming from the man, Sam knew what he was then, and he could hear his blood moving. Sam quickly followed the man and pulled his demon knife on him. The got into a violent fight but Sam managed to get a deep cut into the demon's arm. The demon dropped the briefcase and ran before Sam could slash him again. Sam picked up the case and made his way back to the motel.

"So what does a demon have to do with this?" Dean asked as the bothers stared at the briefcase.

"No idea." Sam responded just as confused as his brother.

"You okay?" Dean asked noticing Sam's strained facial expression.

"Yeah, Yeah I'll be alright." Sam answered awkward and delayed. Dean wasn't sure why he wouldn't be or why there was a reason not to trust Sam. So he quickly pushed aside any feelings of doubt. He trusted his brother again. Dean knew he would do the right decided to break open the case and went to work cracking the locks. Quickly they got it open but all that was inside was a quick, bright flash of light.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"A human soul." The deep and familiar voice chirped up from behind them. Dean quickly kissed Castiel gently before what he had said hit him, and that he was eating a burger.

"What about that makes any sense?" Sam asked ignoring the kiss.

"And when did you start eating?" Dean questioned, grabbing the bag and stealing a sloe fry even though he didn't really want one.

"Exactly!" Cas responded excitedly, "My hunger, it's a clue actually."

"For what?" The brothers said simultaneously.

"This town isn't suffering from love gone wrong, it's suffering from hunger, starvation to be exact. More specifically, famine.

"Famine?" Sam asked, Cas nodded his head wildly, crazy eyes plastered to his face, quickly chewing the burger.

"Great!" Dean said sarcastically. "Well that's freaking great."

"Well I thought famine meant starvation as in food." Sam said to Cas.

"Yes absolutely." Cas responded, "but not just food, everybody's hungry for something, sex, attention, drugs," Cas turned to Dean, "Love." Dean ignored the glance, but he knew what Cas was subtlety trying to say.

"So that explains the puppy lovers."

"Right. They craved love, and then Famine came and made them rabid for it."

"Okay but what about you, I mean since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle. And why haven't you tried eating me to death?" Dean said with a small smirk.

"It's affecting my vessel Jimmy. His appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's affect. That's also why I haven't devoured you yet." Cas said, shooting Dean a suggestive look on the word 'yet'.

"So Famine just rolls into town and everybody goes crazy?" Dean asked.

"'And then will come Famine, riding on a black steed, he will ride into the land of plenty, and great will be the horseman's hunger for he is hunger. His hunger will seep out and poison the air.' Famine is hungry, he must devour the souls of his victims."

"So that was the briefcase." Dean concluded.

"Lucifer must have sent demon's to make sure Famine was healthy and ready."

"Ready for what?" Sam asked.

"To march across the land."

* * *

"Famine. Really?" Dean said wondering how his job could still get worse. He was sitting on the bed behind Cas, he was touching him and kissing his neck occasionally but Cas was oblivious, completely engrossed with his burger.

"So everybody in this town is just gonna eat, drink and screw itself to death?" Sam half shouted angrily, ignoring the valiant attempts Dean was making on Cas.

"Well how'd you stop the last horseman?" Cas asked them.

"His ring. We cut off his finger and took the ring." Dean told Cas's neck. "Then it was like everybody woke up from a dream. You think Famine's got one too?" Dean asked resting his head on Cas' shoulder.

"I know he does."

"Well okay let's hunt him down." Dean said almost believing it would be relatively easy. Sam was in the bathroom wiping a cold wash cloth over his face. He could hear Dean and Cas lightly bickering about the amount of burgers Cas had eaten. Sam had gone into a cold sweat and that was when he knew Famine had touched him. And what he wanted, was demon blood.

"Come on Sammy." Dean called to him. Sam could hear his heart in his ears, the fidgeting and twitching worsening. He knew he couldn't go with him, he trusted himself, but he didn't trust himself with Famine on his back.

"Dean..I-I can't, I can't go." A look of worry and confusion appeared on Dean's face not fully grasping the issue.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I think it got to me, Dean. I think I'm hungry for it." Sam said exasperatedly.

"Hungry for what?" Dean asked, an edge in his voice.

"You know..." Sam whispered.

"You have to be kidding me. Cas you gatta zap him out of here, you have to beam

him to Montana, anywhere but here." Dean practically begged him.

"I could but he's already been touched. The hunger will just follow him."

"What are we supposed to do?!"

"Go and cut that bastards finger off! But you gatta lock me down. Good." Dean nodded his head and found a pair of handcuffs. He hooked Sam up to the bathroom sink before heading out with Cas.

"Be careful," Sam warned, "and hurry." Dean nodded and lightly brushed his lips on Sam's temple the way he used to when they were much younger.

"You'll be fine. We'll be back soon I swear."

* * *

Dean and Cas made their way to the hospital planning on talking to the doctor they had been working with all week only to be informed that he had died. He died like all the others in town, Famine's fault.

"It's Famine." Cas announced over Dean's shoulder. Dean needed to explain to him how to not discuss the things they dealt with in public, but Castiel had a thing for being honest.

"Pardon?" The doctor asked clearly confused.

"Could you give us a minute please?" Dean asked the doctor. He gave them a funny look before nodding his head and leaving them alone.

"Crap." Dean stated, "I really kinda liked this guy." Cas put a comforting hand on his shoulder and placed his other one on the doctor.

"They haven't harvested his soul yet." Cas announced. So the two went out to the Impala to wait for someone to come. They had full intentions of following the man back to where Famine was.

They waited for a while. For the most part it was just the two of them sitting there while Dean ran his fingers through Cas' hair. Cas had left Dean alone for about ten minutes and returned with his favorite burger.

"Are you serious?"

"These make me, very happy." Castiel swooned.

"Happier than I do?" Dean asked.

"Don't be ridiculous." Cas responded through the burger

"How many is that?" Dean asked.

"I lost count. It's in the low hundreds." Dean looked at him like he was crazy and rolled his eyes.

"I thought you told me you could stop whenever you wanted?"

"I could." Cas said again.

"Then stop eating and kiss me." Cas swallowed his bite and looked down at the half eaten burger.

"Well I haven't finished this. It would be a waste."

"You're picking a burger over me Cas." Dean stated.

"Am not. I just don't want to waste such a good burger." Dean leaned over and grabbed what was left of the burger and shoved it in his mouth, he chewed a few times before swallowing hard.

"You, are evil." Cas gasped

"I'm just protecting you angel face, and plus, now you have to kiss me." Dean said sliding towards him.

"Do not. You're mean." Cas said pouting. Dean leaned over and took Cas' extended bottom lip between his teeth. Cas whimpered and pulled Dean into a deep kiss. Dean moved his lips down Cas' jaw and to his neck. He trailed his lips and tongue all over his neck, desperately wanting more, but very aware they were on a job.

"So what's your hunger, Dean?" Cas asked. The rumble in his throat from his voice against Dean's lips made him go nuts, but instead he pulled away and pulled Castiel as close as possible, practically dragging him into his lap.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"Well slowly but surely everyone in this town has fallen victim to famine but so far you seem unaffected." That was lie. Dean thought. He was just good at controlling his hunger. That and he wasn't starving, like everyone else was, he was just hungry. For Castiel.

"Well when I want a drink, I drink, when I want sex I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich or a burger. But there is some thing I am hungry for." Dean whispered into Cas' ear. Dean kissed Cas behind his ear, mouth teasing his earlobe.

"I want you." Dean murmured into his ear. He could almost feel Cas shiver under his hands and hear his heart race. He knew he hit a vain much deeper than a burger ever would, and he relished in that.

"But I haven't gone crazy because I already have you. I'm going crazy because I want more." He whispered seductively and began kissing his neck. Cas' pulse raced and there was a flutter in his chest.

"I love you." Cas whispered gently. Dean pretended to be too involved in Cas' neck to respond. He found Cas' lips and moved quickly, wanting as much Cas as he could possibly get.

"The demon is leaving" Cas breathed. Dean sighed and whispered, "I'm not done with you." into Cas' ear before pulling away and driving off.

* * *

Dean followed the demon all the way to a diner on the outskirts of town.

"You want to go over the plan again?" Dean asked Cas, who had divulged in another burger. Cas was silent, staring off into space.

"Hey! Happy meal! The plan" Dean called out to him.

"I take the knife. I go in. I cut the ring off the hand of Famine and I meet you back here." Dean leaned over and kissed Cas once before saying be careful. He felt foolish saying this to him but Cas nodded anyway and was gone the next second. Dean waited for no more than a minute and knew it was taking too long. So he got out of the Impala and found a back way inside the diner. He walked through the kitchen and could see Cas from behind, kneeling on the ground.

"Cas!" He called out in a hushed tone, but he ignored Dean. Two demons came up behind Dean but Dean couldn't keep them off. They pulled him out of the kitchen and past Cas who he finally saw was kneeling on the ground over a giant pan of red meat, shoving it in his face.

"Cas!" he called but he still didn't answer him.

"What did you do to him!" He yelled at Famine.

"Nothing directly. I simply tossed him a bone."

"So this is your big trick? Making people cuckoo for Coco Puffs?" Dean huffed.

"Doesn't take much. I only push. Consume consume, a swarm of locusts. And yet you're all still starving because hunger doesn't just come from the body, it comes from the soul." Famine rasped out in a mere whisper.

"So it doesn't seem to be comin' from mine." Dean said trying to be proud.

"yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?"

"I'd like to think it's because of my strength in character." Dean said sarcastically. Famine rolled closer to Dean and pressed his hand to his stomach. Dean quivered in pain.

"Yes. I see it. That's one deep dark, nothing you've got there Dean. But that angel over there is bringing you back. Before you barely felt anything. But he's reminding you of a time before Hell and before demon blood isn't he? You've gotten yourself something worth holding onto don't you?"

"Don't talk about what I have with Cas. You know nothing."

"I know more than you think Dean. You can lie to yourself Dean but you can't lie to me. I can see how broken you are, how defeated, you can't win and you know it. But you just keep fighting just keep going through the motions. You're not hungry Dean because inside you're dying, but the angel is bringing you back, and that scares you. You love him but you don't want to admit that, because you think it will be harder to lose him if you do. Well you already love him Dean. It will hurt no matter what, but don't you think it will be worse if he dies and you never told him? Stop being selfish Dean and be rational. you're screwed no matter what."

Just then Sam burst through the front door. Dean saw the dried blood around his mouth and Dean's heart sunk.

"Let him go." Sam demanded. Famine turned around in his wheelchair to face Sam.

"Sammy no!" Dean cried outs, upset.

"I see you got my snack I sent." Famine rasped happily. Dean relished in anger, he wanted this bastard dead.

"You sent?" Sam said angry.

"You're not like everyone else! You'll never die from drinking too much. You're the exception. Just the way Satan intended. Cut their throats!" Famine said excitedly motioning to the demons surrounding himself and Dean.

"Sammy No!" Dean called out but Sam stuck out his had anyway and exorcized all four with ease, releasing Dean. Sam continued to exorcise the souls and demons the horseman had consumed which resulted in his death. Dean removed the ring from his finger and put it in his pocket. He looked at Sam sadly but he knew his brother wasn't to blame. He could control himself, it was all Famine's fault.

Dean pulled Cas off the floor near the meat pan and dragged him to the car. He helped him into the backseat before hopping into the driver's side.

"I'm sorry Dean." Cas whispered sadly from the backseat. Dean leaned over the seat and kissed him softly.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault." Dean leaned back over and noticed the face of self hatred plastered all over Sam.

"You either. This wasn't your fault. I don't blame either of you for anything. But Sammy, I hope you know what we have to do know." Dean said uncomfortable. Sam nodded, eyes filled with realization. So Dean started the drive to Bobby's, a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder.

* * *

They took turns keeping watch outside the panic room. It really didn't end up being turns since Cas stayed with Dean constantly. The only time one was alone was when Dean deseparately needed sleep. He hadn't intended on sleeping, down right refused to, but Cas made him, coaxing him to the couch and laying him down. Cas could see the pain in Dean's eyes of having to do this again. At least it wasn't on purpose this time. Castiel thought to himself. He too was proud of Sam for admitting to them he was sick and letting them handcuff him to a sink. If it hadn't been for the attack, things would be fine. Dean woke a few hours later and came back down to the basement. He sat down on the ground and Cas pulled him in close, running his fingers through his hair while Dean cringed at the sounds behind the door.

"At least it wasn't on purpose this time." Cas reassured.

"I think that's why it's worse this time." Dean mumbled sadly. Sam screamed out for the both of them begging for help. Dean closed his eyes and took a swig from the bottle of Jack Daniels as he winced. Cas pulled the bottle out of Dean's hands and kissed his forehead.

"It'll be okay." Cas promised.

"It's not him in there. Not really" Cas reminded him in another attempt to ease the pain.

"I know." Dean mumbled.

"Dean, Sam just has to get it out of his system. He'll be okay."

"I know. I have to go outside." Dean whispered and left Cas behind worrying about him and went out to the Impala.

"Please." Dean whispered towards heaven with tears in his eyes.

"I need some help." he finally admitted. "Please," he whispered again, tears falling down his face, wishing he had stayed in the comfort of Cas' arms.

* * *

**a/n Sorry this took so long! But it's out now! Yay! So I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! Much love! Tootles. Xoxo.**


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: HELLO THERE! Gahhh! I'm so sorry I've abandoned you! But I'm here now! It took me so long to get through this! I started by doing 5.15 but it was so difficult to get through! And I got bored and then accidently deleted it and I was sooo pissed. Lol. But then I got the idea to do my favorite season 5 episode, 5.08, Changing Channels only as if it came after 5.14. so that's what I did. Haha. So just pretend it comes after My Bloody Valentine**

**So I'm having such a difficult time writing this fic. I hate basing my chapters off episodes. It's so tedious and boring so I can only imagine it must be to read too. On top of it I started a sequel already and im really excited for it. So I may just make the chapters much shorter and not word for word, more like, 'they went there then came back' kind of thing so I can focus on building cas' and Dean's relationship. Have more 'inbetween' kind of things because to start the sequel I need to finish season 5 and im so excited for it! **

**Anyway, im going to stop babbling now and let you read the story! Remember! Season 5, Episode 8. **

"Dean, can we please stop here for the night." Cas complained from the back seat. He was sick of being stuck in the car. Dean sighed heavily and took the next exit and pulled into a motel parking lot.  
"Wake up Sam. I'll go get us a room." Dean told Cas as he exited the Impala.  
"Sam?" Cas whispered tapping Sam's shoulder.  
"Sam." He said again giving him a small shove. Sam's eyes fluttered and opened slowly.  
"What's up?" He asked groggily.  
"We're at a motel. Dean is getting a room." Sam nodded and straightened up and opened the Impala door just as Dean returned with the key.  
"Come on sleepy." Dean smirked as they walked to the room together. Sam was exhausted so he took off his jacket and jeans and plopped onto his bed and immediately fell asleep.  
"I guess he's a bit tired." Dean said, "So, are you gonna stay the night?" Dean asked Cas.  
"I suppose I can." Cas shrugged.  
"Well get comfortable. I'm tired too. You uh, wanna lie in bed with me?" Dean asked unsure, looking up from under his eyelashes at the angel.  
"I guess." Cas said a little unsure himself.  
"Uh, I can give you a shirt, if you wanna wear something more comfortable." Dean said as he took off his jeans.  
"What do you mean?" Cas asked looking down at his own clothes as if questioning what was wrong with them.  
"Here." Dean said. He reached over and took off Cas' trench coat. The angel looked up at him tentatively through his eyelashes. Dean leaned down and gently kissed the angel as he undid his tie and shirt buttons. The angel happily kissed back while Dean slid off the crisp white shirt. Cas loved the feeling of his bare torso pressed against the hunter's faded cotton tee. He gently ran his hand down Dean's arm, loving the feeling of his smoldering skin under his palm. He stopped slightly when he felt Dean undoing his pants.  
"Don't worry." Dean whispered as he finished taking them off, "Here." he said handing Cas a shirt similar to the one he was wearing. Cas pulled it on and his nose as filled with the wonderful scent of Dean. He breathed in deeply a few times before following Dean to the bed. Dean crawled in to the side closest to the door, a habit Cas frequently observed. Cas followed his lead and laid down next to him. Dean pulled him closer to his body, and placed an arm around his waist.  
"G'night." He mumbled pressing his lips haphazardly on Cas' jaw. He nuzzled his face into his shoulder.  
"Good night, Dean." the angel whispered happily as the hunter's breath slowed.

When Dean woke up his limbs were pleasantly entangled in Cas'.  
"Good morning." Cas whispered as Dean's eyes fluttered open.  
"Morning, angel face." Dean murmured, pressing his lips against Cas'.  
"Do I have to get up?" Dean said nuzzling into Cas' chest.  
"Not yet. Sam went out to get coffee and breakfast. You can lie here a little longer."  
"Good. I like this." Dean mumbled.  
"Me too." Cas admitted, sinking into the hunter's hold.  
"I love you." Cas whispered to him.  
"I know angel face." Dean said pressing his lips to Cas'. He reached his hand under the shirt Cas was wearing and smoothed his hand over his torso. He loved the feeling of his soft, cool skin under his rough, warm hands. Cas let out a small whimper of pleasure which Dean took as an invitation to deepen the kiss. The angel's tongue grazed his own and he let out his own, soft moan.  
"Please stop." Dean heard his brother call from the doorway.  
"No." Dean mumbled through kisses.  
"Dean." Cas started, trying to pull away, his face growing red having been caught. Dean grumbled and pulled Cas as close to him as possible, resting his head on his stomach.  
"Go away Sam." Dean whined.  
"No. I think we have a case."  
"Perfect." Dean said sarcastically, nuzzling his face deeper into Cas' stomach. He sighed and pulled himself out of bed and away from his angel. He pulled on a pair of jeans and changed his shirt. Cas got up after him and awkwardly changed back into his normal clothes. Dean sat down at the small table and stated eating the bagel Sam had gotten for him.  
"So what's the case?" He asked Sam through a mouthful of bagel.  
"Man died of a bear attack."  
"And?" Dean asked confused.  
"In his bedroom on the second floor of his house."  
"Well. That changes things. We're sure it's a bear?"  
"Nope."  
"Perfect." Dean grumbled.  
"I have to go." Cas told the two.  
"You'll be back soon?" Dean asked hopefully.  
"Most likely." Dean tugged the angel down a little so he could kiss him from where he was sitting.  
"Bye angel face." He whispered against his lips.  
"Bye, Dean." He whispered back before the familiar flap of wings came noting the man was gone.  
"You're so touchy-feely with him." Sam remarked with a hint of annoyance.  
"So? Is that a problem?" Dean asked.  
"Not particularly. I just never thought of you as a touchy feely kind of guy."  
"I don't like talking about feelings. Never said anything about actually feeling." Dean said with a smirk.  
"Please stop talking. Now." Sam said rolling his eyes. Dean chuckled softy.  
"So we gonna get goin'?" He asked.  
"Yeah." Sam said getting up from the table, "put your suit on and we'll leave." Dean nodded, shoving the last bite of bagel in his mouth.

"Why is the FBI here?"

"Well it may have something to do with a local getting his head ripped of." Dean said annoyed.

"It was a bear attack." the sheriff claimed

"How sure are you?" Sam asked skeptically.

"What else would it be?"

"Well whatever it was it chased a man through the woods, smashed through his front door, chased him up the stairs, and killed him in his bedroom. Is that common? A bear doing all that?"

"Depends on how pissed off it is I guess. Look, the Randoff's live way up in high country. There are gonna be some bears."

"Well what about Mrs. Randoff. File says she witnessed the whole thing. She say there was a bear?" Dean asked. The sheriff paused, "She went through a hell of a trauma. She's confused." the brothers looked at the man confused. Dean wasn't believing anything. There was something more than a bear attack here.

"So what did she say?" Sam asked.

"It must have been a bear. What else could it have been?" The woman before them said with red rimmed eyes.

"What do you think it was?" Sam asked knowing there was more.

"Don't worry. We're used to hearing all kinds of crazy." Dean reassured her.

"It's impossible but, I swore I saw The Incredible Hulk." She said looking down at her hands.

"Banner or Norton?" Dean asked her for laughs.

"Oh no. Those movies were terrible. The TV Hulk."

"Lou Ferrigno?"

"Yes."

"Spiky haired Lou Ferrigno?"

"Yes, him." Dean nodded with a smile on his face. People really could cheer him up sometimes. He shared a skeptical look with Sam.

"You think I'm crazy." The woman said hanging her head.

"No." Dean promised her, "It's just, would there be any reason for Lou Ferrigno, to have a grudge against your husband?"

"No?" The woman said confused.

They nodded their heads and shook the woman's hand before getting up to leave.

"You think it's actually the Hulk?" Sam asked him as they returned to the Impala.

"It wouldn't surprise me." Dean said with a sigh.

When they returned to the motel Sam left to investigate the house and Dean had stayed back to research the incident a bit more. He decided to stay because one of them had to find as much information as possible, and he had hoped Cas would come back. So he stayed back and let Sam go. He didn't take long however, and came back fairly soon.

"Hey. You find anything?"

"Yeah. And eight foot hole where the door used to be."

"A Hulk sized hole." Dean stated.

"Maybe. Whatdayou got?" Sam asked him.

"Well turns out that Bill had quite the temper. Two counts of assault and battery, bar brawls, and court ordered anger management sessions. You might say, 'you wouldn't like him when he's angry'" Dean said with a smirk.

"So a hot head getting killed by TV's greatest hot head. Sounds like Just Desserts. This is starting to make sense."

"How is this starting to make sense?"

"Well, I found something else at the crime scene." Sam said as he dropped a handful of candy wrappers on the table in front of Dean. Dean picked up one of the wrappers as he let the facts sink in.

"The trickster." He thought out loud.

"That's what it looks like."

"Good. I've been dying to yank that bitch since the Mystery Spot." Dean remembered with a bit of humor, but mostly anger.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

"Yeah I'm sure."

"Yeah but are you sure you want to kill him?"

"Sonovabitch had no problem killing me, a thousand times."

"I know I mean, I'm just saying,"

"What are you saying Sammy?"

"We talk to him?"

"What?!"

"Think about it, he is one of the most powerful creatures we've ever met. Maybe we could use him."

"For what?"

"He likes the good life right? So maybe he doesn't want the party to end. Maybe he hates this crap as much as we do. Maybe he'll help us."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah!"

"Alai with the trickster?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"A bloody violent monster, and you wanna be best buds with him? Nice, Sammy."

"The world is gonna end, Dean. I'm just sayin, it's worth a shot that's all. If it doesn't work, we'll kill him." Dean shook his head, but he figured for know he'd let Sam have his way.

"How're we gonna find this guy anyway?"

"Well he doesn't take just one victim, so we should know."

Dean nodded and found the wooden steaks to sharpen and dip in blood. Sam pulled out the police radio and they waited for the call in that sounded like it could be their alley. Dean had been waiting. For Cas to return all day. He could feel himself missing him and wanted him back. But he knew Cas would come back as soon as possible so he knew he had to be busy. He shook his not even believing how clingy he was being but, there was just something about Castiel that made him that way. He didn't know what or how, but he had somehow managed to turn into clingy girlfriend. It had been weird for Dean. It was like something in them clicked when they kissed. Dean became clingy and for lack if a better word desperate. Cas had become more...personable. If that was the best term. He wasn't so 'I don't understand.' about everything anymore. He rolled his eyes, he used sarcasm, he felt like a person. Dean didn't understand their transformations he figured there must have been some sort of an explanation, but Dean didn't know what that was.

After a while a frightened voice came over the radio frantically calling for back up,  
"Sound like us?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged and got up to leave,  
"Probably." He responded. Dean wasn't exactly crazy about Sam's idea to have a chat with the trickster, but he wasn't going to fight with him about it. Plus, as much as he didn't want to admit it, Sam had a point. If the trickster did agree with them, he could help them big time. All the same he didn't want to get involved with somebody who could screw them over as much as this guy could.  
"So there was a murder here and there's nobody around? How's that look to you?" Dean asked.  
"Crappy." Sam agreed.  
Dean grabbed the two steaks and flashlights out of the Impala and handed Sam his pair. They approached the warehouse door skeptically. Dean pulled open the door and the two passed through, but the other side was not something they were expecting at all. They were in a hospital, complete with people, patients, and doctors. Not to mention the doctor's coats they were both sporting. To say Dean was confused would be an understatement. Two nurses passed them and addressed them both as "Doctor". Sam turned and raised his eyebrows, just as confused as Dean. They started down the hallway but were abruptly stopped by a short woman with dark hair.  
"Doctor." She said to Sam before slapping him hard across the face. Both brothers were even more confused than before.  
"Seriously?" She asked him.  
"What?" Sam said totally lost.  
"Seriously?" The woman asked even more erratic, "You're brilliant you know that? And a coward. A brilliant coward."  
"Uh, what are you talking about?" Sam asked her glancing to Dean. She reached up and slapped again,  
"As if you don't know!" She said before storming off. Dean stared after her incredulously.  
"I don't believe this..." He said astonished.  
"What?" Sam questioned.  
"That was Dr. Piccolo."  
"Who?" Sam asked again even more confused now than he already was.  
"Dr. Ellen Piccolo, the sexy yet earnest doctor at..." Dean paused looking to his left excitedly, "Seattle Mercy Hospital!" He said pointing excited, "Dean what the hell are you talking about?"

"The Doctor get ups, the sexy interns, the seriously, it all makes sense!" Dean said, frantic.

"What makes sense? What's going on?"

"We're_ in _Dr. Sexy MD!"

"Dude, what the hell?" Dean asked for the millionth time.

"I don't know." Sam replied equaly confused.

"Seriously, what the hell?"

"I don't know." Sam said again.

"One theory. Any theory."

"Uh, trickster trapped us in TV land?" Sam guessed shrugging his shoulders.

"That's your theory? That's stupid."

"Well your the one who said we were on Dr. Sexy MD" Sam said throwing up his hands.

"Yeah but TV land isn't TV land, I mean there's actors and lights and crew members, you know? This looks real."

"How can this possibly be real?" Sam said annoyed.

"I don't know alright." Dean said staring at a woman as she passed him, "There goes Dr. Wang, the sexy, arrogant heart surgeon...and there's Johnny Drake, well he's not even alive, he's a ghost in the mind of...her." Dean said to the woman resting against the gurney next to the man., "The sexy, neurotic doctor over there."

"So this show has ghosts?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know, it is compelling." Sam chuckled.

"I thought you weren't a fan."

"I'm not. I'm not!" Dean claimed looking back down the hallway, "Oh boy." Dean paused, "It's him."

"It's who?"

"It's him it's Dr. Sexy!" Dean said sounding like a thirteen year old girl.

"Doctor." Dr. Sexy said addressing Dean.

"Doctor." He said back.

"Doctor." Dr. Sexy said turning to Sam.

"Doctor." Sam grumbled back reluctantly.

"You want to give me one good reason why you didn't preform that expiremental face transplant on Mrs. Beal?"

"One reason?" Dean said looking to Sam, "Sure." he said looking down nervously, that was when he noticed Dr. Sexy wearing sneakers. He immediately shoved the man forcibly against the wall.

"You're not Dr. Sexy!" Dean said angrily searching the man's face.

"You're crazy." The man said back.

"Really? 'Cause I swore part of what made Dr. Sexy, sexy was the fact that he wears cowboy boots, not tennis shoes.

"Yeah, you're not a fan." Sam said with a smirk.

"It's a guilty pleasure!"

"Call security." The man said loudly.

"Go ahead pal, we know what you are." Dean accused. Things around them stopped, like someone had pressed the pause button leaving only them aware, the face in front of Dean morphed into the familiar one of the trickster.

"You guys are getting better!"

"Get us the hell outta here." Dean demanded.

"Or what?" The trickster said yanking Dean off him, "Don't see your wooden steaks anywhere big guy."

"That was you on the police scanner right? This is a trick" Sam concluded.

"Hellloo! Trickster." He said pointing to his face, "Come on! I heard you two yahoos were in town, how could I resist?"

"Where the hell are we?" Dean asked.

"Like it? It's my own little set up. My own sets, my own actors. Call it my own little idiot box."

"How do we get out." Dean demanded.

"That my friend, is the $64 question." The trickster said proudly.

"Whatever, we just need to talk to you. Maybe you could help."

"Hmm. Lemmie guess, you two broke the world, and you want me to clean it up?"

"Please, just five minutes. Air us out." Sam reasoned.

"Sure, tell you what, you two survive the next 24 hours, we'll talk."

"Survive what?" Dean asked skeptical.

"The game!"

"What game?"

"You're in it."

"Well how do we play?"

"You're playing it." the trickster said with a shrug.

"What are the rules?" Dean said with an eye roll. The trickster wiggled his eyebrows before vanishing.

"Sonovabitch." Dean exclaimed frustrated. The two began their way down the hallway again.  
"By the way, talking with monsters, hell of a plan!" He said annoyed with Sam.  
"So what do we do now?" Sam asked.  
"You know what I'm doing? Leaving!" Just then the same dark haired lady from earlier approached Sam. She reached up to slap him again but he dodged he r this time.  
"Lady, what the hell?"  
"You are a brilliant, brilliant,"  
"Yeah, coward you said that," Sam said cutting her off, "but I got news for you, I'm not a doctor." He said sternly. The woman looked back like she had been personally insulted,  
"Don' say that. You're the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I know, and I have met plenty. So that girl died on your table, it wasn't your fault, sometimes people just die."  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
"You're afraid. You're afraid to operate again, and you're afraid to love." The woman rushed past him down the hallway with what looked like tears in her eyes.  
"Yeah, we're getting out of here." Sam agreed. They walked down the hallway barely making it three steps when a man with a scruffy beard stopped them.  
"Hey, doctor?" He said to Dean who stopped and rolled his eyes.  
"Yes?" He said with vile in his mouth.  
"My wife needs that face transplant."  
"Okay," Dean said flustered, "You know what pal? None of this is real, and your wife doesn't need jack squat." Dean said before stomping away.  
"Hey doctor!" The man called from behind them. Before Dean could react the man shot him in the back and ran away. Dean fell to his knees and grabbed for Sam's arm.  
"Real!" he chocked out, "It's real!"  
"We need a doctor!" Sam called out holding on to his brother. Next thing he knew they were being guided to an operation room. Not only that, but Sam was told to preform the operation. Sam looked around frantic not having a clue of what to do. Sure he's removed a bullet or two from them before, but never quite like this, he was lost.  
"Doctor?" a woman said handing him a scalpel.  
"What?" Sam said nervously. She pushed it closer to him and he shook his head.  
"Sam? Do something, come on!" Dean said to him.  
"Dean, I don't know how to use any of this crap."  
"Figure it out!"  
"Okay, uh, I need a pen knife, some dental floss, a sowing needle, and a fifth whiskey." The other doctors stood around and looked at each other before Sam called out 'stat!' and they all began to move. After Sam was given the tools he was able to operate on Dean.  
Once the bullet was removed Dean saw lights flashing and could hear music pumping. The floor beneath him opened up like doors and he found himself standing up, his feet strapped into some contraption. The whole scene was unreal to him. Next a small man came through the doors screaming about playing 'Nutcracker'. Dean slowly began to realize they must be on some sort of Japanese game show. The small man turned to Sam and asked him a question in Japanese with an over the top game show voice. He pointed to the clock beginning the countdown.

"What?" Sam said asking the man and turning to Dean. Dean shrugged his shoulders, like he knew Japanese.

"Uh, what am I supposed to say?" He asked Dean.

"You think I know?!" He responded.

"Uh I uh don't understand Japanese." Sam tried telling the man. The man's only response was to repeat the question over again in Japanese. The brothers looked at the man then back at each other equally baffled.

"I can't speak Japanese!" Sam tried one last time before the buzzer for the countdown rang. The man called out the answer was Ruby. So obviously the questions were about something to do with them, Dean thought. But he didn't have much time to mull over things because after the spokesman apologized Dean and Sam learned the consequences of a bad answer. The small hard ball between Sam's leg shot up and thwacked him in the balls. Hard. Dean's hand flew over his mouth and his eyes widened in concern. Sam was doubled over clutching his crotch clearly in vivid pain.

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yeah?" He grunted out through barred teeth. A woman in the corner dressed like a stripper distracted the host and called him over to advertise some strange product.

"You okay?" Dean asked Sam. Sam turned his head to glare at Dean. Dean looked down at his own podium to see a bright yellow ball identical to Sam's staring back at him. To say he wasn't terrified would be a lie. A huge lie. All of a sudden the same music started playing and lights flashing from when they found themselves here. Dean turned to look at the blue doors,

"Oh now what?" Dean said frustrated. But was unbelievably relieved when Cas walked through the doors.

"Cas?!"

"Is this another trick?" Sam asked skeptical.

"No, it's me." Cas said turning to Dean, "What are you doing here?"

"Us? What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, you've been missing for days. I finally found the car outside some warehouse."

"Well get us the hell out of here then!" Sam said frantic.

"Let's go." Cas said. He raised his fingers to tap both their foreheads and leave when all of a sudden he vanished, just like the trickster had earlier.

"Oh no, Mr. Trickster doesn't like pretty boy angels." The host said to Dean.

"Where did he just go?!" Dean demanded but he headed no response. All he got back was a question thrown towards him in Japanese. The countdown started and he started to panic.

"What do I do?! What do I do?! I don't wanna get hit in the nuts!" Dean yelled to Sam.

"I uh just uh um uh wait!"

"What?!"

"I played a doctor!"

"What?!"

"On doctor sexy! I played a doctor. I operated!"

"So!"

"So I played the roll the trickster wanted me to play! Maybe we just go along with it."

"Go along with what?"

"With the game!"

"We're on a game show right? So just answer the question!" Sam concluded.

"Answer the question? In Japanese?!"

"Yeah!" Sam yelled.

"I don't know Japanese!"

"Try!"

"Damnit!" Dean turned and slammed the button out of impulse with one second on the clock. He had no clue what he was supposed to say so he just blurted out the first thing that came to him,

" kotaeha sotoso" (the answer is yes)

"Sotoso?" the host asked.

"Sotoso." Dean confirmed raising his eyebrows unsure. The host looked down at his card once more before shouting,

"Dean Winchester! Nutcracker, Champion!"

"How did you do that?" Sam asked impressed.

"I have no idea." Dean said with a chuckle.

"So that's it. We play our roles we survive."

"Yeah, play our roles for how long?"

"Good question." Sam said nervously.

The next place they found themselves was a basketball court with a couple other guys. Sam's roll this time was an infomercial.

"I've got genital herpes." Said the first woman while in yoga pose.

"I've got genital herpes." Said an older man. Next was Sam.

"Seriously?" Sam said.

"Hey, you're the one who said play our roles." Dean said patting him on the back while he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I've got...genital. Herpes." Sam said awkwardly.

"I tried to be responsible." Said the yoga woman.

"Did I try." said the old man.

"But now, I take twice daily, _Herpexia_ to reduce my chances of passing it on.." Sam forced out.

"Ask your doctor before using _Herpexia_." Dean began prompting the legal nonsense of the medication.

"I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the spread of, of...genital herpes. And that's a good thing." Sam said through gritted teeth, clearly a bit pissed. He was getting a bit sick of these stupid roles, clearly getting handed the short end of the stick.

The next place they found themselves was a sitcom style show. They were in the hotel room that they had been staying at before they got stuck here. Of course the room was cleaner and the colors were brighter making it look like an actual show.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean said, clearly being used as a catch phrase. The crowd laughed as Sam gave Dean a look of annoyance and rolled his eyes.

"I am really, really very sorry," Sam told the girl in the bikini as he led her out of the hotel room. "but, we've got some work to do." He explained to her. Dean didn't really care what happened with the girl. He wanted to know if Cas was okay, and where the hell he was.

"How long do we have to keep doing this?" Dean mumbled to Sam and looked to the audience.

"I don't know. Maybe forever. We might die in here." He said and the crowd burst out laughing.

"How is that funny? Vultures." Dean said to the audience angrily. Just then the door to the room opened and Cas ran in with cuts on his face clearly having been fighting.

"You okay?" Dean said quickly closing the space between them. He reached up and wiped the blood off Cas' eyebrow and noticed the blood stains on his coat.

"I don't have much time." Cas told them.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"I got out."

"From where?" Dean asked concerned.

"Listen to me," he told them sternly, "something is not right this thing is much more powerful than it should be."

"What thing the trickster?"

"If it is a trickster." Cas said to them.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked him. All of a sudden Cas was thrown violently against the wall. Dean ran over to help him and there was duct tape covering his mouth. He tried to get it off and he couldn't. The trickster jumped into the room then,

"Hello!" He called out excitedly. When Cas saw him his eyes widened to twice their size.

"Hi Castiel!" the trickster said to him all excited like. Cas reached up and tugged on Dean's shirt in attempt to telling him something. The next thing Dean knew, the trickster sent him away again.

"Where did you just send him?" Dean asked angrily.

"Relax, he'll live...maybe." the trickster told him.

"How about you bring him back." Dean demanded.

"How 'bout no. You can live without your boy toy for a couple minutes, can't you?"

"Alright you know what, I'm done with your monkey dance. We get it." Dean said angry.

"Yeah?" the trickster said sarcastically, "Get what hotshot?"

"Playing our roles, right? That's your game."

"Half the game." The trickster clarified.

"What's the other half?" Sam asked.

"Play your roles, out there." The trickster said gesturing.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know, Sam starring as Lucifer! Dean starring as Michael! Your celebrity death match! Play, your roles."

"You want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?" Sam asked surprised.

"Heeelllz yeah. Let's light this candle!"

"We do that the world will end." Sam clarified angrily.

"Yeah? And whose fault is that? Who popped Lucifer out of the box? Hm?" He said raising his eyebrow, "Look. It's started. You started it! Can't be stopped. So let's get it over with." Both brothers were steaming angry with another barrage of being told to 'accept their roles'. Dean in particular.

"So what side you on, Heaven or Hell." He asked him.

"I'm not on either side." He claimed.

"Yeah right." Dean said with a smile, "you're grabbin' an ankle for Michael or Lucifer, which one is it?"

"You listen me you arrogant dick." the trickster said snidely, "I don't work for either of those SOBs. Believe me."

"No, your some bodies bitch." The trickster grabbed dean and threw him up against the door.

"Don't you ever, claim to know what I am." The trickster yanked his hands off him.

"No listen closely. Here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles that destiny gave you." He said with venom.

"And if we don't?" Sam challenged.

"Then you'll stay here in T.V. Land. Forever. 300 channels and uh, nothings on." He said with a shrug. He snapped his fingers them dropping them in a new location. Dean' least favorite type ever. He knew it was night, but he was wearing sunglasses, and that's when he knew he was trapped in a procedural cop show. Dean despised procedural cop shows. It was the average crime scene with cops everywhere surrounding a dead body.

"So, what do you think?" A cop asked the two.

"What do I think?" Dean replied, "I think go screw yourself that's what I think." Dean finished pissed off.

"Uh, can you give us a second please?" Sam asked the guy, "You gatta calm down." Sam said to Dean putting a hand on his shoulder trying to help him relax.

"Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No talent douche bags! I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like 300 of them on television there all the same, it's 'ooh plane crash hear, dead body there,' oh shut up!"

"Hey.." Sam said pulling off his glasses.

"What?"

"Check out sweet tooth over there." Dean turned as Sam pointed to the cop who had come up to them before. He had a lollipop in his hand.

"Think that's him?" Dean asked.

"Just uh, follow my lead." Sam said walking towards the man.

"What do we got?" Dean asked the man.

"Well aside from the ligature marks around his neck he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat."

"Well I say, Jackpot." Sam said all dramatically.

"Also, there is a stab wound to the lower abdomen." He said pointing with his lollipop.

"Well I say, No guts no glory." Dean said the same way Sam had moments ago.

"Get that guy a, Tums." Sam said.

"Gutter ball." Dean said feeling absolutely ridiculous.

"Good one guys." The cop said laughing. Dean snuck around behind him with his wooden steak and stabbed him hard just as he turned around. After there was laughter coming from behind Dean that was so familiar it made him nauseous. But it wasn't like they weren't prepared for this. Dean turned around as the laughing cop morphed into the Trickster.

"You got the wrong guy idiots!" He said with a laugh to Dean.

"Did we?" Dean asked as Sam ran up behind him and stabbed him through from behind. The trickster fell to the ground and the scene around them changed back into the warehouse. They left the warehouse and made there way back to the motel. They started to pack things up and got ready to leave. Dean was brushing his teeth in the bathroom while Sam was waiting for him in the motel room. Cas still wasn't back and Dean had been worrying about him and where he was.

"I'm worried man, what that SOB did to Cas. Where is he?" He admitted to Sam. When he got no response he looked around the motel curiously. Figuring Sam had gone out to the car he started out. When he didn't see him he pulled out his phone and started to leave a message as he got into the Impala.

"Dean?" Sam's voice called out.

"Sam?" Dean said looking around the Impala and finding nothing, "Where are you?"

"I don't know." He said fairly confused. Dean found the voice indicator at the same time Sam realized what was happening.

"Oh crap." Sam said upset.

"I don't think we killed the trickster." The radio said. After the surprise wore off Dean left the motel parking lot and started driving. He was pretty pissed off but he kept having to fight off the urge to laugh at Sam's predicament.

"Okay, so what? This is another trick?"

"I don't know, maybe the steak didn't work 'cause it's not a trickster?" Sam guessed.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked

"Well you heard Cas," Sam started and Dean winced, still worried about his whereabouts and safety, "he said this thing was too powerful to be a trickster."

"Yeah and did you notice the way he looked at Cas? Almost like he knew him." Dean said remembering the way Cas' eyes widened and tugged on his shirt.

"And, how pissed he got when you brought up Michael and Lucifer."

"Sonovabitch." Dean said piecing things together.

"What?" Sam asked

"I think I know what we're dealing with." Dean told Sam. Dean continued to drive till he found somewhere to pull over that was fairly secluded. It didn't take long and when they stopped they thought of a plan they were sure could work. So Dean got out the holy oil and prepared it before calling out to the 'trickster'.

"Alright you Sonovabitch!" Dean yelled, "We'll do it!" when nothing happened Dean looked around the area.

"Should I honk?" Sam asked. Dean turned around to say something sarcastic about Sam being a car when the 'trickster' popped up out of nowhere.

"Wow," he said sarcastically, "Sam, get a load of the rims on you."

"Eat me." Sam told him. Dean had to stifle a laugh but it was pretty easy considering how pissed he was.

"Okay boys! Ready to go quietly?"

"Woah, woah, woah, not so fast. Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs and Cas is here."

"What's the difference? Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another. And your precious boyfriend can wait." Dean glared at him like he never had before and the 'trickster' rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. Sam opened the door to the Impala and stepped out. He glared at the trickster too, a little pissed having been the butt of almost all his tricks today.

"Happy?" He asked them.

"Where, is Cas?" Dean said angry.

"Cas can wait. Why can't I chat with you pretty boys alone?"

"Well fine, why didn't the steak kill you?" Dean asked.

"Well I am the trickster." He said to them.

"Or maybe you're not." Dean said as Sam dropped the lighter onto the ring of holy oil. The 'trickster' looked around at the ring of fire confused.

"Maybe you've always been angel." Dean accused. The 'trickster' burst out laughing.

"A what?! Someone slip a Mickey in your power shake kid?"

"I'll tell you what, you just jump out of the holy fire and we'll call it our mistake." Dean said condescendingly. The trickster laughed again before becoming serious. The scene around them turned back into the warehouse again. The trickster started clapping for them.

"Well played boys, well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?" He asked them.

"Well you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass." Dean said with a smirk.

"Where'd I screw up?" He asked them.

"Look pal, I'm not talking to you till Cas is back. Now. Or I will dunk you in holy oil and deep fry myself an archangel."

"Calm your ovaries." The trickster said with a sigh. He snapped his fingers and Cas appeared. Dean immediately pulled him close and wiped some blood off his eyebrow. He tried his hardest to ignore the blood stains on the coat's collar.

"You okay?" Dean asked kissing him softly.

"Fine." Cas rasped angrily glaring at the man. "I'm fine." He said again looking to Dean's face, "Hello Gabriel." He said turning back to the angel.

"Gabriel?" Sam said raising his eyebrows, "The archangel?"

"That's me." Gabriel said exasperated.

"It's been a while Gabriel." Cas said glowering.

"I guess it has huh bro? Well it looks like you're doing fine. Got yourself a hot piece of ass."

"Shut up Gabriel." Cas said angrily.

"A little feisty aren't we bro?"

"You have no right to call me your brother. You abandoned heaven and you abandoned me." Cas practically growled. Dean once recalled being the victim of p. Cas. That kid gets mad. "Michael has been a tyrant and Uriel treated me like his bitch. You just ran away like a little kid. You are anything but my brother." Cas spat out the word brother with such venom it even shocked Dean. Cas was standing close to the fires edge now staring Gabriel down. He looked like he positively wanted to spit on him.

"Castiel," Gabriel started, fumbling over words, "I'm..I'm so sorry. I, had no idea."

"It doesn't matter Gabriel. What matters is that you left, and you never came back. I figured I deserved more than that. I don't want to listen to you excuses, brother." Cas spat as he turned and walked out of the warehouse, slamming the door behind him.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked turning away from the door and back as Gabriel.

"We were, particularly close." Gabriel began to explain with a sad sigh. "I was a few years older than him. He was a cute kid. Much like he is now, always wide eyed and questioning. He was a better brother to me than Luci, Michael, and Raphael ever were. I mean, Luci taught me everything I know but look where that is. I took Castiel under my care. He was my brother. He was my Sam." Gabriel admitted.

"And you just ran away on him? I mean that's low. At least Sam had the decency to tell me he was abandoning me. You though, you just up and took off?" Sam gave him an angry sideways glance.

"Heaven was shit. So I ran. Carved out my own little corner of the world."

"What did Daddy have to say about that?" Dean asked

"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything."

"So what happened? Why'd you ditch?" Sam asked.

"You don't know anything about my family. I love my father and I love my brothers. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each others throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left, and know it's happening all over again."

"Then help us stop it!" Sam insisted.

"You can't stop it."

"Do you wanna see the end of the world?" Dean said angrily.

"I want it to be over! I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you two! Heaven, Hell don't care who wins! I just want it to be over."

"It doesn't have to be like that." Sam tried. "There has to be some way to pull the plug."

"You do not know my family." Gabriel said with a laugh, "What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner! That's why there's no stopping this. Because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You think you'd be able to relate."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked confused.

"You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you thin you two are the vessels? Think about it, Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of daddy's plan. You were born to this boys! It's your destiny! It was always you. As it is in heaven, so it shall be on Earth. One brother, must kill the other."

"What the hell are you saying?" Dean said angrily.

"Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the light down here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always."

"No." Dean said shaking his head, "That's not gonna happen."

"I'm sorry," Gabriel told him, "but it is. Guys, I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings tied up in a bow. But this is real. And it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gatta be."

* * *

"So. Boys. Now what? We stare at each other for the rest of eternity?" Gabriel asked still in the holy fire.

"We're out of here. Cas is waiting. Come on Sammy." Dean said pissed off. He'd always hated the guy, but now, after he learned how he treated Cas, he was furious.

"Uh, okay? Guys! So, so what? Huh? You gonna leave me here forever?" Gabriel said desperately.

"No. We're not. Because we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record, this isn't about some prize fight between your brothers, or some destiny that can't be stopped; this is about you, not being too afraid to stand up to your family." Dean smashed the fire alarm and pulled it. He glared at Gabriel as the sprinklers started up.

"Don't say I never did anything for you!" dean said angrily leaving the warehouse.

"All that stuff he was spouting in there you think he was telling the truth?" he asked Sam.

"I think he believes it." Sam guessed.

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know." Sam said with a sigh. Dean found Cas leaning against the car, eyes cast down. Dean moved in front of him pulling his chin up to meet his lips.

"You sure you're okay?" Dean asked gazing into the sad, blue eyes. Cas nodded silently and kissed Dean once again softly.

"Let's get out of here." Dean said letting go of Cas' chin and sliding into the drivers seat. Dean drove away from the beaten down warehouse and down the road without looking back.

* * *

**a/n: much love to readers! If you have any suggestions with what I should do don't be afraid to tell me! All guests welcome! Love y'all! Tootles! **


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: So this is an in-between chapter. I started it as it was supposed to be 99 Problems next but I kind of just kept going and didn't stop haha. I even added an aspect I didn't think I was going to have, you'll see. lol. So this is just kind of a filler chapter. Next one will be 99 Problems. I think it's 5.17, not sure. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

After they left the town they decided to make their way to Bobby's so they could regroup and make sure they had all their facts straight. The drive was about a day and a half away even with Dean's driving so they stopped at a motel at night. Cas had stayed quite the whole ride, barely even looking up from his lap. When he pulled into the parking lot of the motel Cas still didn't look up to see where they were. The brothers got out of the Impala and made their way to the lobby.

"Hey, I think I'm going to get a room for just me and Cas. He still seems pretty upset. Do you mind?" Dean asked Sam.

"No, I don't care." Sam said with a shrug agreeing that some time alone with Dean probably would improve Cas' sour mood.

"Two rooms." Dean told guy behind the desk.

"Queens okay?" The guy asked.

"Perfect." Dean agreed.

"Rooms 30 and 31, but don't worry, the walls are pretty thick here." The guy said with a wink. Dean caught on to what the man was saying and didn't miss a beat,

"Oh that's a relief. Wouldn't want my brother here to hear me and my _boyfriend_ all night. We get pretty loud and he's been in sort of a rut today and I was thinking a good hard fucking would cheer him up." Dean said with a smirk. The man behind the desk looked like he was going to be sick as they left. Once the door closed behind them they both started laughing.

"I am going to use that all the time now, that was fun." Dean said with a chuckle. Sam laughed too before becoming serious.

"That was funny, but I swear, don't ever talk about giving Cas 'a good hard fuck' in front of me again. I'll kill you." Sam said glancing sideways.

"Oh, this'll be even more fun." Dean said with a wide smile.

"Dean! I'm serious!"

"So am I Sammy." Dean said smirking as they reached the Impala. Sam and Dean grabbed their duffel bags out of the trunk and Dean noticed Cas was still sitting in the Impala. The brothers shared a glance and Sam made his way for his room while Dean went over and opened the Impala door. Cas looked up at Dean with a pout on his face. Dean half expected Cas to reach his arms out to him like a child asking to be picked up. Dean sighed under his breath and leaned over to lift Cas off the seat and into his arms. Cas was facing Dean, straddling him with his face in his neck. Dean managed to open the door and hold up Cas all at once. He tossed his duffel bag onto a chair and gently placed Cas on the bed. Dean kissed his jaw and neck a few times before lifting himself up.

"I'm going to take a shower. Feel free to join me." Dean whispered. He wasn't sure why he had invited Cas to join him. Not that he didn't want him to, he definitely wanted him to, it's just that they haven't seen each other naked yet, let alone anything else. Dean didn't really care though; he doubted Cas would come anyway.

Dean stripped down in the cold bathroom and quickly turned on the water making it hotter than it needed to be. Steam rolled off his skin as the hot water hit his body. He cleaned his body and was in the middle of washing his hair when he heard the bathroom door open and close.

"Cas?" He asked but received no response He rinsed out his hair as he heard articles of clothing hit the floor. The next thing he new Cas was climbing into the shower. Dean took in his body every angle, dimple, curve and dip was absolutely perfect and Dean almost became hard on the spot.

"You're beautiful, Angel." Dean said breathlessly. He reached out and placed his hand firmly on Cas' bare hip. He pulled Cas under the water and tightly against his body. Their groins met causing them both to lose their breath. Cas forcefully pressed his lips to Dean's. Dean's tongue reached out and Cas met it with an unwavering passion. They moved into a fiery rhythm of tongues and hips. Dean groaned with pleasure and Cas kissed harder. Dean knew this was headed somewhere and he didn't care where, so he met Cas' pace of feverish kisses and grabbed on tighter to his hips. The movement their hips were making was starting to make both of them hard.

"I wanna do it." Cas rasped between kisses.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"Yes. I want you to fuck my brains out." Cas growled. Dean held back a moan trying to escape from the sound of Cas' voice forming those words. He didn't ask anymore questions. He turned off the water and they both stepped out of the shower. Dean grabbed a large towel and hastily dried them off. He grabbed Cas' hand and they went towards the beds together. Dean tossed Cas down on the bed and crawled on top of him. They started to make out and Cas' mouth started to trail down Dean's jaw and neck. Cas' mouth traced along Dean's shoulders and gripped the hand print tightly. A moan escaped Dean's lip at the feeling in his arm. Cas worked along Dean's shoulders, nipping and sucking on his skin. Dean knew he was going to leave multiple hickeys behind but he didn't care at all.

"I love you, Cas. I love you so much." Cas paused and Dean started a trail of kisses down Cas' torso. He nipped and sucked on Cas' chest and nipples before moving down to his stomach. He ran his mouth and tongue all over the incredibly soft skin on Cas' stomach.

"I love you too Dean. I love that you love me."

"Cas you have no clue how much I love you."

"I think I have a faint idea." Cas whispered kissing Dean softly.

"Ready?" Dean asked begging the answer to be yes. Cas nodded quickly and flipped over. Dean moved over him and trialed kisses down the back of his neck and back. He straightened up and positioned himself behind Cas. He pushed himself inside of him and Cas moaned loudly. Dean reached around and grabbed Cas' cock. He pumped his hand at the same rhythm he thrusted his hips. Cas moaned again causing Dean to moan. Despite everything, Cas' day was shaping up nicely.

* * *

On the other side of the wall Sam showered and searched around on his laptop for a new job. It was about an hour of total silence when all of a sudden he could hear a banging coming from the other side of the wall. He could only assume it belonged to the headboard of the bed as it hit the wall.

"Oh my God. He's actually screwing Cas." Sam said shaking his head. He returned to his laptop trying to block out the banging. It was difficult but once he found things to read it was easier to zone out on reading. He was contemplating turning on the tv when the weight of the bed shifted and a familiar voice piped up.

"Wow they're really goin' at it huh?" Gabriel said next to him. Sam stood up from the bed, grabbing for the demon knife.

"Oh please Sam. Like that would ever hurt me. Plus, do I really look like I'm on the attack here?"

"So what the hell are you doing here?!" Sam yelled.

"Bored. Figured you'd be a bit lonely, seeing as our brothers are a bit busy."

"Why did you come to me? Go somewhere else." Sam said confused.

"Well in reality I wanna keep an eye on my brother." Gabriel said casting his eyes down.

"Well, fine but if you do that don't you ever show your face to Dean. I'm pretty sure he wants to rip your throat out. Cas was all mopey and depressed till we got here." Sam said sternly.

"Well, sounds like Dean's doing a pretty good job of cheering him up." At that very moment a moan came from the room that Sam was pretty sure could have been heard from the car.

"You amplified that didn't you?" Sam said glaring at Gabriel.

"Maybe." Gabriel said with a smirk. "It was Dean by the way in case you were wondering."

"Oh my God I'm going to be sick." Sam said, sure his face was green.

"You'll get over it. Oh hey the banging stopped!" Gabriel said with a smile.

"Finally, it's been almost an hour already." Sam said looking around the motel room. Gabriel turned on the tv and got comfy.

"Wanna get off my bed?" Sam said annoyed.

"Where else will I sit?" Gabriel said with a wide smile patting the area of bed next to him. Sam sighed loudly and sat down next to him. To say it was awkward would be an understatement.

"So how are ya?" Gabriel asked Sam.

"I'm fine. Why are you talking? I thought you were just here to spy on Cas."

"Wanna know my real reason for being here?" Gabriel asked.

"I guess?" Sam said confused.

"For you." Gabriel admitted quietly.

"Uh, what?" Sam asked eyebrows shooting to the top of his forehead.

"You. I came to see you." Gabriel whispered.

"But, why?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. I have no idea, but I couldn't stop thinking about you." Gabriel said staring at Sam.

"I don't, I mean, I'm not..." Sam started.

"Yeah and neither were they." Gabriel said cocking his head toward the wall separating them from the love birds. Gabriel reached up and took a piece of his hair between his fingers. Sam's eyes met Gabriel's and he couldn't turn away. There was something about them that kept him locked on to Gabriel's face. He started to wonder if it was a trick Gabriel was playing on him but he didn't even care, right now all he wanted was to kiss him. He felt his face drifting closer to Gabriel's until their lips met. The kiss was soft but it was the most amazing kiss for Sam ever. Their lips moved into a rhythm before their tongues finally met. A noise escaped Sam's lips and Gabriel reached his hand behind Sam's head pulling him closer. The kiss deepened as Sam became more aware of what he was doing and he pulled away.

"Gabe, I can't do this." Sam said putting his face in his hands.

"Gabe? That's a cute nickname." Gabriel said before noticing Sam's distress, "Oh come on Sam. You didn't seem to have much of a problem with it five seconds ago." Gabriel condescended.

"That's not it. I can't do that to Cas. And Dean will murder both of us." Sam said moving away from Gabriel.

"Hey, I'll talk to Cassie, he'll get over it. Dean will grow up eventually." Gabriel tried.

"No. No he's not going to forgive you for what you did to Cas. Doesn't matter if Cas forgives you, Dean won't." Sam pressed.

"Well, forget him tonight, have one night for yourself." Gabriel whispered. Sam locked eyes with him, and once again he couldn't pull away. He too was charmed with the undefinable attraction toward the angel. He leaned in and kissed him again and again and again, before things started to go down a path Sam didn't expect, but didn't stop either.

* * *

The two laid on the bed curled into one another panting.

"God, I love you Cas. You're so perfect." Dean slurred placing sloppy kisses on his stomach.

"I love you too Dean. That was amazing." Cas swooned running his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean stopped his kisses and rested his head on Cas' stomach and closed his eyes.

"You don't have to leave right?" Dean said wrapping his arms tightly around Cas.

"I might in the morning." Cas sighed.

"I wish you didn't. I wish we could stay in this bed for a week."

"Me too. But if I don't make it back before, I'll definitely see you on Thursday. I'll always be with you on Thursdays." Cas promised him.

"Oh that's right. You're the angel of Thursday. So Thursdays will always be our day?" Dean asked.

"Always." Cas promised. Dean kissed Cas gently on the lips.

"I love you angel." Dean whispered fight with his heavy eyelids.

"I love you too Dean." Cas said kissing Dean again. Dean nuzzled his face into Cas' stomach and started to fall asleep.

* * *

When Dean woke up in the morning there was no sight of Cas, but there was a note on the pillow next to him. There was a few symbols written on it then crossed out, like Cas had forgotten Dean couldn't read Enochian. Underneath the symbols was 'I love you, Dean -Cas' written in a perfect, swirly cursive handwriting. Dean smiled at it, before getting up and folding the piece of paper in half and sliding it into the only zippered pocket in his jacket. He got dressed and went to knock on Sam's door. When Sam answered, he too was dressed and ready to go.

"I found a job for us." Sam said as they walked to the Impala.

"Where?" Dean asked.

"A little town in Minnesota. Lots of omens." Sam said sliding into the passenger seat.

"That's another whole day of driving." Dean said plainy.

"I know. You want me to drive?" Sam asked

"Nah. It's fine."  
"You're in a good mood." Sam stated.

"Don't act clueless." Dean said with a wide smile.

"Don't you dare say it." Sam warned

"I gave Cas a good hard fucking!" Dean said with a laugh, Sam started making gagging noises which only made Dean laugh harder.

"Shut up jerk." Sam said making a face.

"Bitch." Dean said.

* * *

**a/n: Did you like? I can't believe i added Sabriel, I never planned on that! lol. anyway, I can't wait to finish this, I already have three chapters of a sequal ready. I know crazy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Leave any reviews or suggestions, guests always welcome! ,Much love! tootles **


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n Hey there! So this is based off of 99 Problems, 5.17 Its kinda boring and I;m not that happy with it :/ anway, enjoy!**

* * *

Dean lay stretched out on the bed in the motel. He was completely stressed out. Cas hadn't been around for days, the town was giving him the creeps, and he wasn't entirely sure how well he trusted Leah the prophet and a priest wearing a holster was just a bit much for him. Everything was a bit much for him. He felt awful for getting that kid killed, he knew he did what he could but still, he felt it was his fault. But no matter what, Dean couldn't shake the skepticism towards Leah.

* * *

"Where you been?" Dean asked when Sam came through the motel door. Dean had been waiting most of the day for Cas to visit.

"Drinking." Sam responded.

"You rebel." Dean said with a smile making Sam laugh lightly.

"Would have stayed longer but, Uh, it's curfew."

"Right." Dean said solemnly.

"You here they shut down the cell towers?" Sam asked.

"The cell phone towers are down?" Dean said angrily, sitting upright.

"Yeah cable and Internet too."

"It's Thursday!" Dean practically shouted.

"And?" Sam sad confused

"You told Cas where we were in your message right?" Dean asked sternly.

"Yeah?" Sam said confused.

"He promised he'd come tonight." Dean grumbled, "That's why I've been waiting here."

"Ohh, because it's Thursday, I get it! How cute." Sam said mockingly.

"Shut up Sammy." Dean rasped annoyed, "I'm going for a walk." Dean mumbled angrily.

"What if Cas shows up? I can't call you." Sam asked.

"He's probably been calling me and obviously I haven't answered. He probably won't come now." Dean said, clearly pissed off. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, slamming it when he left.

* * *

Sam stayed around the motel looking for anything to help them as he searched through books. He was pacing around when Cas spoke up behind him scaring the crap out of him,

"I got your message." He rasped opening the fridge, "I find the sound of your voice, grating." He said woozily.

"What's wrong with you?" Sam asked skeptically, "Are you, drunk?"

"No." Cas said sternly before rolling his eyes, "Yes." He said instead.

"What the he'll happened to you?" Sam said confused.

"I found a liquor store."

"And?"

"And I drank it. Why'd you call me?" He responded quickly.

"You okay?" Sam asked as he caught Cas before he stumbled to the floor.

"Don't ask stupid questions Sam." Cas whispered, "Where's Dean?"

"He went out, I have no idea." Sam told him. Cas sighed and looked around.

"It's Thursday." He murmured.

"I know. He'll be back. Don't worry."

"So what do you need?" Cas asked Sam.

"There have been some massive demon attacks. Right on the edge of town and we can't figure out..."

"Any sign of angels." Cas asked.

"Sort of, they've been speaking to this prophet."

"Who?"

"Leah Giddien." Sam told him.

"She's not a prophet." Cas said plainly.

"I'm pretty sure she is. Visions headaches the whole package." Sam explained.

"The names of all the prophets are seared into my brain. Leah Giddien is not one of them." Cas said exhasperated.

"Then what is she?" Sam asked. The two sat around talking about what to do with Leah while they waited for Dean to return. It was about an hour or so till Dean got back, hands covered in blood.

"We went looking for you." Sam said as Dean walked through the door before noticing his blood covered hands, "You alright?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Not my blood. Paul is dead."

"What?!"

"Jane shot him."

"It's starting." Cas said from the couch.

"What's starting. Where the hell have you been?" Dean asked him.

"Me? What about you?" Cas said angrily.

"I've been here. Waiting for you." Dean said frustrated.

"I went on a bender." Cas growled.

"Did you just say on a bender?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah. He's still pretty smashed." Sam told him.

"So you just went out and got drunk?" Dean asked him.

"Yes. I don't see why this is your problem." Cas said staring at Dean.

"Not my problem?" Dean said with an angry smirk.

"I don't belong to you Dean." Cas said with a glare, "You belong to me. What do you think that handprint is for?" He said through gritted teeth.

"I'll remember that." Dean said with a clenched jaw trying to sound angry, but clearly hurt. He turned to walk away but Cas reached out and grabbed his arm spinning him around hard before pressing his mouth against the others forcefully. The kiss was angry and hungry. Dean didn't know whether to be pissed off or turned on.

"Don't just walk away from me like that without kissing me. I haven't seen you in days." Cas growled before whispering, "and you know damn well that print means way more than just ownership." He told Dean in a drunken haze. Dean kissed Cas again. Sam stood there awkwardly feeling like he intruded on something, but they had work to do.

"Guys?" Sam said awkwardly. The two pulled away from each other and shared a meaningful look before completely separating.

"So what's up?" Dean asked.

"Well, Leah's not a real prophet." Sam told him.

"Well then what is she?" Dean asked.

"A whore." Cas said plainly. Dean tried not to laugh.

"Wow Cas, tell us what you really think."

"She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. 'And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.' This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds, Book of Revelation calls her the whore of Babylon."

"Well that's sketchy."

"The real Leah has probably been dead for months."

"What about the demons attacking the town?" Dean asked.

"They're under her control."

"And the Enochian exorcism?"

"Fake. It actually means you uh, breed with the mouth of a goat." Cas told them, smiling widely before realizing the brothers were looking at him like he had gone off the deep end, "It's funnier in Enochian..." Cas said brushing it off.

"So the demons smoking out is just a con? Why? What's the end game?" Dean asked.

"What you just saw, innocent blood spilled in God's name." Cas told him.

"You heard all that heaven talk, she manipulates people." Sam reminded him.

"Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible, and it's just beginning. She's well on her way to dragging the whole town into the pit."

"Alright, so how do we go Babylon all over this bitch?" Sam and Cas shared a glance and Cas placed a branch down on the coffee table in front of them.

"The whore can be killed with that." He said, "It's a steak made from a cypress tree in Babylon."

"Great. Let's get her." Dean said satisfied.

"It's not that easy." Cas said turning to face him.

"Of course not." Dean said. How could it possibly be that easy?

"She has to be killed by a true servant of heaven."

"Servant like?" Dean asked.

"Not you." Cas said, "or me. Sam of course is an abomination. we'll have to find someone else." Dean knew it was going to have to be the priest. He didn't want to have to make this man do it, to make him kill his own daughter. Not like it actually was his daughter anymore but still, it was the principle. So they sent Cas out to retrieve him seeing as he could do it in seconds with a flutter of wings. When Cas returned with the priest he looked extremely confused.

"Yeah he wasn't lying about the angel thing." Dean told him, "Have a seat padre we gatta have a chat." The three sat him down and explained to him the circumstances laying the branch out in front of him.

"No. I can't. She's my daughter." the priest insisted.

"I'm sorry but she's not." Dean told him, "She's the thing that killed your daughter."

"That's impossible." He pressed.

"But it's true, and deep down you know it." Sam reasoned, "Look we get it, it's too much, but if you don't do this she's going to kill a lot of people, you, and the rest of the town." Sam explained as Dean held up the branch.

"Why does it have to be me?" The father asked.

"You're a servant of God." Cas said squinting his eyes shut.

"And you're an angel." The priest said hastily.

"A poor example of one." Cas said sadly not particularly liking to discuss the fact he was technically fallen. The priest tentatively grabbed the branch and Cas rubbed his forehead feeling a massive migraine. They headed outside to pack up the Impala and Cas sat on the curb watching Dean intently. Dean noticed the angel constantly rubbing at his forehead and handed him a bottle of aspirin.

"How many should I take?" Cas asked quietly.

"You? Probably the whole bottle." Dean said with smirk though the angel never noticed.

"Thanks." Cas said, guilt boiling in his stomach. "Dean, I'm sorry, about earlier. I love you. You know you're not just my charge or something I branded anymore right? You know you mean more to me."

"I know angel, I know. Don't worry about it. I still love you. You're still my angel." Dean said lovingly, grazing his lips along Cas' temple. Cas closed his eyes leaning into the comforting feeling of Dean's lips. It was the best he's felt all day, with the exception of the guilt still brewing in the pit of his stomach.

"Come on. Let's get this over with so we can get the hell out of here." Dean said with a smile, planting another gentle kiss on Cas' forehead.

The group made their way to the church sneaking inside. Cas set himself up to sneak attack her. When she entered the room he tensed a little trying to gather his senses so he wouldn't fumble. When she closed the cabinet door he was standing behind he lunged out and grabbed her.

"Daddy, don't hurt me!" She cried out when she saw the priest running at her with the branch. He paused a moment and Sam yelled at him to do it fast. The whore started an Enochian exorcism on Cas and he let her go and he fell to his knees in pain. She threw the priest against the wall and the brothers advanced on her before she threw them against the wall as well. She ran out of the room and the priest and brothers went to follow her. Dean paused for a moment when he saw Cas still crying out in pain on the floor.

"Cas!" He yelled out.

"Go!" Cas insisted through barred teeth and Dean reluctantly followed his brother. They came out to find the father being beaten down by other members of the church. Sam and Dean easily knocked them out trying to get to the priest. Sam then lunged for the two trying to light the kerosene set to kill a group of innocent people. Dean lunged at the Whore. She reached out her hand and he fell to his back in pain. She jumped on top of him, holding him down with a strong arm over his throat. He reached out to his side desperately grabbing for the branch. The Whore quickly noticed this.

"Oh please, like you're a servant of heaven." she spat, "You know my team's going to win. You're the great vessel? Your pathetic, self hating, faithless, it's the end of the world. You just sit back and watch it happen." Dean's fingers finally wrapped around the branch and he swung his arm up to meet her face. He instantly shoved the steak through her chest hoping for the best.

"Don't be so sure. Whore." Dean said thrusting the branch deeper into her body.

Her face contorted and black smoke rose up from her wound. Her body flashed with the familiar light when they kill a demon with the knife. The steak exploded into flames and all that was left was Leah's body and a trail of smoke.

"I don't understand." Jane said staring at the body, "how are we supposed to get to paradise now?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure you're headed in a different direction."

Sam lifted up the now conscious priest. Dean headed to the back room to gather Cas, now a weak ball on the floor over come with a cold sweat.

"Come on Cassie." Dean said lifting him up. Cas winced at the movement but curled into Dean's body.

"How did you do that?" Sam asked as they quickly left the church heading for the car.

"Run of luck I guess." Dean replied equally baffled.

"Last we checked she could only be ganked by a servant of heaven."

"Well what do you want me to tell you? I saw a shot and I went for it." Dean gently place Cas in the backseat while Sam did the same with the priest.

"Are you going to do anything stupid?" Sam insisted before getting into the car.

"Like what?" Dean asked.

"Like Michael stupid."

"Come on Sam. Give me a break." He growled as he slid into the driver's seat.

They drove back to the motel and they help the two cripples inside. Sam tended to the priest's wounds while Dean put Cas in his bed. He went to the bathroom to get more bandages for Sam.

"How's the head?" Dean asked the priest.

"I'm seeing double, but that may be the pain killers." he said with a light smile.

"You'll be okay." Dean assured.

"No." He said sadly. Dean nodded knowingly before returning back to Cas who was curled up on his bed looking miserable. Dean leaned over him and kissed his forehead.

"Come on. You need to sleep." Dean said sliding off the trench coat, tie, and white shirt. He went into his duffle bag and took out a bulky sweatshirt and pulled it over Cas' head. He lifted him off the bed and removed his pants and gave him a pair of sweats and pulled back the covers.

"Sleep." Dean said pointing to the bed.

"But Dean," Cas started.

"No. You need sleep. You're a mess. I promise you, you'll feel a million times better in the morning." Cas sighed and crawled into the bed. Dean kissed his lips gently.

"You're not gonna sleep?" Cas asked, Dean smiled.

"I'll join you in minute I promise. Now sleep." Cas nodded and kissed Dean once more before rolling onto his side and closing his eyes. Dean smiled softly and headed back to Sam and the priest.

"You'll be alright." Sam assured the man before he left the motel with a wave and a thanks.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed. Cas is probably already out." Dean said finishing off a glass of whiskey.

"Yeah. I guess I will too." Sam said getting into his own bed. Dean slid into his bed next to Cas.

"Hey Angel." Dean whispered.

"Dean..." Cas whispered woozy. Dean kissed Cas and even in a sleepy haze, Cas passionately kissed back.

"I love you Angel. You are one of the most important people in my life. I don't know what I'd do with out." Dean whispered hoping Cas wouldn't pick up on the guilt tainting his voice.

"I know Dean. I love you too." Cas slurred, eyes barely open.

"Go back to sleep Angel." Dean said with a few gentle kisses. Cas sank back into the sheets and almost instantly was asleep again. Dean waited for the familiar sound of Sam's slow breathing proving he was also asleep. Dean gently pressed his lips against Cas' forehead one last time before getting out of bed. He looked over at Sam and squeezed his eyes shut. He headed for the door before he could change his mind. He slid into the seat of the impala and gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands. He felt the familiar leather under his skin and sighed. He pulled out of the motel and drove away as fast as he could as if to run away from the guilt of what he was about to do.

* * *

**a/n see, i told you, boring. So the next chapter will be 5.18 I'm hoping it'll be better than this one. I need to find some space inbetween things to squeeze in more dean+cas time and sam+gabe time. sooo probably another inbetween chapter between 5.18 and 5.19. Well regardless of the boringness of this chapter i hope you liked! Much love! tootles! **


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: Okay so this is 5.18 Point of No Return. Sorry this took me so long. For some reason the episode was so painful haha. It's alright I guess, enjoy.**

* * *

Dean continued to drive down the road at a dangerous speed. He gripped the wheel tightly causing his knuckles to turn white; as if the tighter he gripped the less emotion he would feel. He couldn't allow himself to think of the two he left behind in the motel or he would definitely lose it. Not only was he blatantly backstabbing his brother, the same brother he raised, protected and went to hell for, but he was leaving behind the only person he was sure he's ever loved. He knew he was breaking Cas' heart more and more with each mile he drove, but he couldn't afford to think about that. He bit his lip until it bled in an attempt to prevent tears spilling over. He was not going to cry. It just wasn't going to happen. He refused to let himself show or feel any emotion because then he would have to face the fact that he was wrong, and if he was actually going to do this he couldn't think he was wrong. He couldn't have any doubts because as of now he couldn't see any other plan left that would save Sammy and Cas. _He had to do this_, he tried convincing himself. He knew exactly where he was headed. He hoped Sam wouldn't figure him out, but he hoped everything would be all said and done by the time they realized he was gone. When he finally got to the motel he went inside and looked around letting old memories sink in. He unraveled the paper bag back and took a hard swig straight from the bottle. He folded up his father's jacket, the one he always wore, and placed it in a box with the keys to the Impala. He sat down with the motel stationary and wrote two letters, one for Sam and Bobby, and one for Cas. They deserved so much more than just letters, he knew that, but that was all he could give them. He knew it was unfair but nowadays everything in their lives was unfair. He placed the letters in the box and on the very top put in his gun, his silver and pearl handled gun. He taped the box shut and addressed it to Bobby.

"Sending someone a candy gram?" Sam said from behind Dean causing him to immediately stop. He wasn't sure why he was so surprised Sam found him, but he was.

"How'd you find me?" Dean asked lowering the bottle of whiskey.

"You're gonna kill yourself right? It's not too hard to figure out the stops on the farewell tour." Sam said sadly.

"I'm not gonna kill myself." Dean said trying to hold together what little dignity he had left.

"No? So, Michael's not about to make you his muppet?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows,

"What the hell man? This is how it ends, you just, walk out?"

"Yeah I guess." Dean said trying to use as few words as possible to hide his doubt and depression.

"How could you do that?" Sam said angrily.

"How could I? All you've ever done is run away!" Dean said getting angry, but it was true, Sam had a habit of running out on him.

"And I was wrong! Every single time I did!" Sam sighed heavily, "Just, please, not now, Bobby is working on something."

"Oh really? What? We have nothing and you know it." Dean said actually starting to believe this was his only option left.

"You know I have to stop you." Sam said calmly.

"Yeah well you can try, just remember, you're not all hopped up on demon blood this time." Dean said snidely.

"Yeah I know, but I brought help." Sam said with a sad sigh. Instantly Dean felt Cas behind him. Slowly he turned to face him, anger littered the angel's normally gentle features.

"Cas, I..." Dean started planning on forming some sort of apology before the angel cut him off,

"How, fucking, dare you." Cas growled. He reached up his fingers and pressed them harshly against Dean's forehead. Normally Cas would have caught the body before it hit the floor but this time he opted for watching the hunter drop to the carpet. He stared angrily at the man at his feet before looking up to meet Sam's pitying eyes.

"Cas," Sam started but Cas lifted up his hand to stop him. He stepped over Dean's body and pushed past Sam to leave the motel. Sam heard the Impala door slam shut violently. He winced at the loud noise and moved to Dean's body. He picked up his brother and carried him out to the car. He put Dean, still unconscious, in the backseat and slid into the driver's seat. Sam started up the car and left the motel parking lot. He glanced between the road and the angel.

"Cas, you okay?" Sam asked, concerned. Cas turned his head and stared at Sam expressionless, not saying a word.

"He didn't mean it that way, Cas. He thought he was doing the right thing."

"Well he was wrong." Cas said bitterly.

"Hey, you and I have been wrong before too. Dean is in a rough spot right now. He's too used to being the one that has to protect everyone else and sometimes he ends coming off as a total jackass. That doesn't mean he is."

"I know." Cas said monotone. Sam could tell he was pissed, he knew Cas understood what he was saying but given the fact the angel was so angry he just stopped pushing it and they finished the ride to Bobby's in mostly silence. When they arrived Dean was still knocked out so Sam had to carry him. Barely five minutes after Sam had put him on the couch he woke up. At first he had looked confused but realization slowly dawned on him and he looked around before his eyes met Cas'. Cas held his gaze with a steady glare.

"Angel," Dean whispered.

"I don't want to hear it, Dean. I don't care what you did why you did or why you thought it was the right thing to do. I don't care." Cas said angrily before walking back into the den where Sam and Bobby were still looking at books and Sam's laptop. Dean cupped his face in his hands and groaned quietly before getting up to join the others in the den. He sat silently as Sam and Bobby searched. Cas leaned against the doorway and the two didn't take their eyes off each other. There were so many things Cas wanted to say, so many things he wanted to scream, but instead he said nothing. Dean watched Cas carefully, his eyes filled with sadness and hope that Cas would forgive him. He had a million apologies in his head and he couldn't bring himself to say a single one with the angel's vicious eyes burning a hole into his mind. Dean started to get uncomfortable under the heated stare and began to pace. He quickly became aware of Cas' eyes still glued to his every step. In one swift movement Dean turned around, grabbed Cas by the wrist and dragged him upstairs.

"Dean. I don't want..."

"I don't really care Cas." Dean cut him off as he shoved open the door of the room he usually used and shoved Cas inside and slammed the door behind him.

"Look, what I did was wrong. It was stupid and selfish. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's the only option I see left that will guarantee you stay safe. I can't risk anything happen to you. I'm sorry Angel. I'm sorry. I love you." Dean said praying it would enough. It wasn't like he had plenty more to say.

"I know, Dean." Cas whispered, "I know. I'm just, angry you lied to me." Cas said looking down.

"I'm so sorry, Angel. I've been regretting since I walked out the door." Dean said lifting Cas' face up to meet his.

"I love you, Angel." Dean whispered meeting Cas' eyes.

"I love you too, Dean." Cas whispered moving his face closer to Dean's. Dean closed the last few inches between them pressing their lips together. Cas instantly laced his fingers through Dean's hair pulling his face closer to his. Dean smiled against the others lips. Slowly Dean began to lower Cas down on to the bed and crawled on top of him.

"Dean, we can't do this here. Sam and Bobby are downstairs." Cas tried reasoning.

"Who cares?" Dean mumbled as he started to unbutton Cas' shirt.

"I do. What if they hear?" Cas said concerned. He stopped himself however when Dean pulled off his own shirt. Dean smiled widely like he had known what he did. Cas immediately leaned forward and kissed Dean's neck and shoulders.

"If you do this," Cas growled warningly, "I will pound you into the mattress." Dean groaned at the words.

"I love what you do to me, Angel." Dean whispered.

"Just wait." Cas growled unbuttoning Dean's jeans. Cas ripped them off in no time and removed his own just as fast. He moved himself behind Dean and wasted no time. His hand was gripped over the print and Cas wasn't gentle like Dean had been for him. He thrusted hard and moaned with pleasure of the feeling of Dean's tightness around him. Dean moaned loudly. Cas couldn't tell if it was pain or pleasure or both. He began to thrust harder and faster and was able to last fairly long. He reached and jerked Dean in tandem with his thrusts and they both manager to finish at the same time. They collapsed onto the bed and Cas curled into Dean's gentle arms.

"Holy shit." Dean breathed and Cas curled in closer to Dean,

"Remind me never to piss you off again." Dean nuzzled his face into Cas' neck.

"The again, that's the greatest angry sex I've ever had." Dean said breathlessly. Cas smiled and pressed his lips against forcefully against Dean's.

"Bobby is going to kill us." Cas said with a smile.

"Let's just hide up here then." Dean said pulling Cas closer.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Cas." Dean said running his hand through Cas' hair and kissed him gently.

"Dean," Cas said suddenly his voice becoming serious, "I have to go, something's wrong." The angel got up and pulled on nothing but his pants and trench coat leaving his torso bare and left immediately. Dean sighed and got up himself and got dressed. He headed downstairs and back into the study to meet Bobby's annoyed glare,

"I swear to God boy, you pull that shit again I will put a bullet into both of ya's." He growled. "Don't tell Cas that, he'll be mortified you heard us."

"It's pretty impossible not to, you idjits."

"Where is he?" Sam asked looking up from his laptop and over Dean's shoulder.

"He had to go. I don't know where but he said he'd be back soon." Just then came the familiar sound of Cas' wings only he was accompanied by a body thrown over his shoulder,

"Help!" He rasped, Sam instantly went for the body on Cas' shoulder and Dean reached for Cas before he fell over. Sam placed the boy on the cot in the study and looked at the face covered in dirt,

"It's Adam." Sam said astonished.

"Your brother?" Cas asked making it sound more like a statement.

"Yeah." Dean said moving closer to Cas. Adam was still out cold lying on the cot.

"Guess we just have to wait until he wakes up." Sam said with a sigh,

"Where'd you find him?" Sam asked.

"Crawling out of his grave." Cas said sourly,

"I don't know why the angels targeted him but I had to fight off a couple angles." Cas said gesturing towards a long but shallow gash on his stomach.

"Thanks for saving him, Cas." Sam said sincerely, Cas nodded and turned to Dean who looked distressed. Dean grazed his fingers along Cas' bare torso, avoiding eye contact.

"Let's go get your shirt and put something on this." Dean whispered.

"I think that's a good idea." Cas agreed, immediately picking up on Dean's mood. Cas followed Dean upstairs and into the bathroom. Dean wiped off the cut and taped a long piece of gauze over it incase it continued to bleed to keep it from staining his white shirt. He followed Dean into the bedroom and reapplied his shirt, fumbling with the buttons.

"Wouldn't you rather wear something more comfortable? Or at least with less layers?" Dean asked, sitting on the bed.

"I've never thought about it. It doesn't really matter to me." Cas said with a shrug. Dean nodded.

"Can't really picture you not wearing the trench coat anyway." Dean said plainly. Cas crawled into the bed behind Dean, pulling the hunter against his body.

"Do you know why the angels brought back Adam? I really don't want the kid getting sucked into all this Apocalypse crap." Dean asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Don't worry yourself about it, Dean." Cas said placing a kiss on Dean's forehead, "let's head back downstairs, maybe we can offer some actual help."

"Wait, Cas. I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Have you noticed anything different about us? Like a change in our personalities?"

"Now that you mention it, yes." Cas said with a nod.

"Do you think it's weird? Like, why is that? Why am I so clingy and you're so...human?"

"I agree it's weird, but I don't know why it is. It's something I can look into." Dean nodded as he stood up off the bed and took his angel's hand in his own. The two walked downstairs hand in hand back to the study. Cas noticed Adam was still filthy from coming out of the ground. He pressed two of his fingers from his free hand against the boy's forehead and in an instant he was spotless.

"That was pretty cool." Dean said with a smile. He turned his attention back to Sam and Bobby, feeling a bit guilty about all the work they had been doing. There were papers everywhere, Sam was scrolling through his laptop, a look of distaste tugged at his eyebrows. Bobby was surrounded by a stack of books, completely engrossed in a rather large book that reminded Dean of a very creepy, furry, and comically angry textbook from a Harry Potter movie he recalled watching more than once.

"What books haven't you looked through yet?" He asked the reading pair who simultaneously pointed to a small stack of thick books without looking up from their respective research. Dean grabbed two of the books off the desk and tugged Cas down into the large armchair with him and the pair began reading. They were both fully engrossed when they heard Adam shifting on the cot. All four looked up at each other at the same moment and then to Adam. Sam, Dean, and Cas were all on their feet in an instant moving towards the boy. Bobby of course had to awkwardly wheel around his desk in the clunkly wheelchair he less than secretly loathed.

"Where am I?" Adam said frantically, eyes darting between the four men.

"It's okay," Sam assured, "just relax, you're safe."

"Who the hell are you?" Adam asked still shocked.

"Well you're gonna find this a little...a lot crazy but, we're actually your brothers." Dean said thinking it'd be fairly simple once they convinced the boy, but nothing was ever that simple in the day of Winchesters and company.

"It's true, John Winchester is our father too, I'm Sam..."

"Yeah and I'm sure that's Dean," Adam said cutting Sam off, equally confusing the whole room of hunters and angel, "look I know who you are."

"How?" Sam asked.

"They warned me about you."

"Who did?" Dean asked waryily.

"The angels." Adam said and the four turned and looked at each other knowing they were already screwed.

"Where the hell is Zachariah?!" Adam demanded and that was when Dean knew they were extra screwed. The four didn't know how to respond; instead they just looked at each other trying to think of what to say next.

"I inscribed your ribs. Angels won't be able to find you." Cas finally spoke up. Adam's mouth opened poised to yell at Cas but Dean cut him off,

"Obviously we all have a few unanswered questions. So let's just calm down and start from the beginning." Dean said pulling up a chair and sitting on it backwards. Cas moved protectively behind Dean and ran his fingers through Dean's hair trying to relax his hunter after he could feel the stress radiating off him. Sam leaned back against the desk and Adam looked from Cas' face, which was fixed on staring at Dean as he continued his attempts in relaxing the hunter, to Cas' hand, to Dean's face, who met his stare and raised his eye brows in a, 'you got something to say?' kind of way.

"So tell us what happened." Sam pressed noticing the staring contest.

"Well, I was dead, and in heaven, except it kind of looked like my prom. I was making out with this girl, and uh these angels, they popped up outta nowhere and they told me that I'm chosen." "For what?" Sam asked.

"To save the world." The boy said. Dean opened his eyes after having closed them, trying to relax into Cas' touch. Cas stopped moving his hand and looked up at the boy.

"How are you gonna do that?" Dean asked.

"Oh me and some archangel are going to kill the devil."

"What archangel?" Dean asked straightening up.

"Michael. I'm his sword or vessel or something." Dean turned to face Cas who looked deep in thought,

"That's insane isn't it?" Dean asked the angel.

"Not necessarily."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Maybe they're moving on from you, Dean."

"Well that doesn't make sense."

"He is John Winchester's bloodline and Sam's brother. It's not perfect but it's possible."

"You've got to be kidding me." Dean said annoyed.

"Why would they do this?" Sam said sounding equally upset.

"Maybe they're desperate."

"Look, no way. After everything's that happened? All that crap about destiny! Suddenly the angels have a plan B?! Does that smell right to anybody?!" Sam yelled.

"You know, this has been a really moving family reunion but, uh I got a thing so..." Adam said getting in an attempt to leave.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Sit down. Just listen, okay? Please." Sam insisted. "Unbelievable." The boy groaned.

"The angels are lying to you. They're full of crap." Sam said angrily.

"Yeah I don't think so." Adam said with a smirk.

"Really?" Sam said with a laugh, "Why not?"

"Uh, because they're angels."

"Did they tell you they're gonna roast half the planet?"

"They said the fight might get pretty hairy but it is the devil right? So we gatta stop him."

"Yeah but there's another way." Sam tried and Dean glared up at him from his seat.

"Great, what is it?" Adam asked.

"Well we're working on the power of love." Dean said snidely.

"How's that going?"

"Mmm, not good." Dean said with a sarcastic smile. Cas gently shoved his head and Dean gave him a 'what the hell?' look.

"Look, Adam, you don't know me from a hole in the wall, I know, but I'm begging you, please, just trust me. Give me some time." Sam pleaded.

"Give me one good reason."

"Because we're blood."

"You got no right to say that to me."

"You're still John's boy." Bobby said angrily.

"No, John Winchester was just some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year, I don't have a dad. So, we may be blood, but we not family. My mom, is my family. And if I do my job, I get to see her again, so no offense, but she's the one I give a rat's ass about, not you." Dean looked down as the corner of his lip pulled up. If he was unsure whether Adam was a Winchester before, he was damn sure now.

"Fair enough. But if you have at least one good memory of Dad, just one, then you'll give us a little more time. Please." Sam tried.

"Fine. Whatever." Adam said frustrated knowing he wasn't going anywhere whether he agreed or not. Sam released a shallow breath and stood up.

"Go upstairs and get some rest. Cas and I will stay down here with him and read."

"Thanks." Sam said with a sigh. He climbed the stairs to his room and plopped down on his bed with an exasperated huff. He didn't want to deal with having to watch over the kid and protect him from the angels too. One brother being targeted by heaven was one thing but both of them? They were obviously more desperate then he had originally believed.

"Stop thinking so hard, you're making _my_ head hurt." Sam jumped a mile at the sudden company.

"Crap Gabe! Don't do that." Sam said when he saw the angel at the foot of his bed.

"Dean lets Cas do it!" Gabe whined as he tried to join Sam in the bed.

"That's a lie." Sam scoffed as he scooted over to make room for the angel. Their relationship was still a little weird for him. He still couldn't believe what he had done the other night but as Gabriel inched closer to him he let his body rest against Gabriel's and he felt a strange sort of comfort from the light touch.

"I've missed you." Gabriel said before planting a soft kiss on Sam's jaw.

"I missed you too." Sam admitted, turning his head so he was facing the other man. Gabriel leaned forward and kissed Sam on the lips gently. The kiss was delicate, they weren't as hungry as the other night but yet it somehow left Sam wanting more. He let his kisses become more aggressive as he brushed his tongue along Gabriel's lower lip. Gabriel reciprocated and lifted off Sam's shirt.

"Not here, you can hear everything." Sam mumbled between kisses.

"I have a few more tricks up my sleeve than Cas." Gabriel whispered. Sam smirked and pressed his lips forcefully against Gabriel and pulled him closer.

"Keep that up Sammy and I may even let you be on top this time." Gabriel breathed with a smirk.

* * *

It was late when Sam finally went back downstairs to relieve his brother of watching Adam. Sam found the two still curled up in the oversized armchair each with books in their hands. He smiled and felt himself ache for Gabriel. He ignored it however telling himself he just spent four plus hours with him.

"I'll watch him for the rest of the night." Sam said as he approached his brother.

"Are you sure?" Cas asked the taller man, "I won't mind staying down here, I don't need to sleep."

"Yeah I'm sure. If I get tired maybe, but I'm fine for now. Thanks." Cas nodded and followed Dean up the stairs to their room. Dean pulled off his jeans and fell onto the bed and pulled Cas down with him after he also stripped down to nothing but boxers and a t-shirt.

"I need my four hours." Dean grumbled pulling the angel against his body. Their legs knitted together and Dean laced his fingers with Cas' and kissed him once before closing his eyes. Cas settled in against his boyfriend and smiled to himself. He couldn't remember when it happened, when he fell so hard for the hunter but looking at him now he couldn't remember a time when he wasn't in love with the hunter.

"I love you, Cas." Dean whispered, just on the cusp of sleep.

"I love you too, Dean" Cas whispered back and kissed his forehead.

Sam sat at the table across from Adam with a book open in front of him and an open beer. Adam stared down at his half eaten sandwich ready to scream over the silence.

"You know, you pitched this whole, dewy eyed bromance thing, but I'm really on lock down aren't I?" Adam said, having to break the silence.

"Adam, you may not believe it but Dad was trying to protect you, to keep you from all this."

"Yeah well I guess the monster that ate me didn't get that memo."

"You remember that?"

"Oh yeah." Adam said sourly.

"Still, trust me, the only thing worse than seeing Dad once a year, was seeing him all year."

"Do you know how full of crap you are?"

"What?"

"Really? It was me, and it was my mom. That's it. She worked the graveyard shift at the hospital, I cooked my own dinners, I put myself to bed. So you can say whatever you want about our dad but the truth is I would have taken anything. Alright?"

"You should tell that to Dean." Sam said with a smile

"What do you mean?"

"He would kill you if he heard you say that. He would have killed to have his mother. Instead she died when he was four. I was six months old. He pretty much single handedly raised me. He had to learn about the monsters under the bed and keep it from me. If you wanna know how lucky you are ask Dean." Sam said just a little annoyed, if Adam honestly thought he had it harder then them…. Adam sighed and stared at Sam angrily.

* * *

"I can't just let that kid take a bullet for me Cas."

"I know that, but that doesn't mean you have to take it."

"Well who will?" Dean said annoyed. Cas sighed and wrapped his arm around the hunter's waist. He sat there in silence with the other man leaning with his back against his chest. He looked around the room when his eyes landed on a guitar in the corner.

"Do you play?" Cas asked completely changing the subject as he motioned to the guitar.

"Yeah, kinda." Dean said with a shrug.

"Play me something." Dean stood up a walked over to the guitar. He sat down on the floor with his back against the bed. Cas laid back and ran his fingers through Dean's hair as he strummed and hummed along to the tune of _Hey Jude_ Cas closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure.

"Sing." Cas asked.

"Ha, no." Dean said still strumming.

"Come on please." Cas begged. Dean sighed loudly.

"I swear, the things I do for you," He moved his fingers along the neck of the guitar and changed the song.

_Someone's always coming around here trailing some new kill_

_Says I seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill_

_And what's a game of chance to you, to him is one_

_Of real skill_

_So glad to meet you_

_Angeles_

_Picking up the ticket shows there's money to be made_

_Go on and lose the gamble that's the history of the trade_

_Did you add up all the cards left to play to zero_

_And sign up with evil_

_Angeles_

_Don't start me trying now _

_Cos I'm all over it_

_Angeles_

_I could make you satisfied in everything you do_

_All your 'secret wishes' could right now be coming true_

_And be forever with my poison arms around you_

_No one's gonna fool around with us_

_No one's gonna fool around with us_

_So glad to meet you_

_Angeles_

"Why don't you sing all the time?" Cas whispered, his eyes closed, a smile dancing on his lips. A small hum escaped his mouth before his eyes fluttered open again. A shiver ran through his spine and he never knew he could feel like this.

"Angel, you're in like, seventh heaven over there you okay?" Dean said as he returned the guitar to its original position.

"Mhhm." Cas whispered, "I love you."

"I know you do Angel, I love you too."

"I love when we have moments like these."

"Alright you've been watching too many chick flicks." Dean said with a smile. He didn't want to admit it but he sorta liked the sappy chick flick things when Cas said them. Maybe there _is_ just something about love.

"That song was about angels." Cas swooned.

"Yeah." Dean said as he laid back down next to Cas.

"So is this what love feels like?" Cas asked feeling a pounding in his chest as Dean inched closer.

"Guess so." Dean whispered before kissing him.

* * *

"What do you mean Adam is gone?" The pair heard Sam shout as they came down the stairs. They moved faster towards the study.

"He just vanished!" Bobby yelled.

"The angels took him." Cas said calmly looking around the room.

"What do you mean the angels took him? You branded his ribs didn't ya'?" Bobby asked him.

"Yes. Adam must've tipped them."

"How?" Bobby asked confused.

"I don't know, maybe through a dream?"

"Well where would they have taken him?"

"The room they had taken you to." Cas said to Dean.

"You sure?" He asked the angel.

"Positive."

"I can go scope out the place. I'll be back in a minute."

"Goddamn it." Dean grumbled

"Dean calm down."

"No! I'm not gonna calm down! This is my fault."

"This is hardly your fault Dean. It's Zachariah's."

"The place is swamped with angels."

"Great. Freaking great."

* * *

"No Cas. No way. Absolutely not."

"Dean please,"

"No. It's not gonna happen. You could die Cas. I'm not helping you kill yourself."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. Please Dean? It'll save Adam."

"No." Dean said firmly.

"Sam?" Cas asked turning towards him with the box cutter in his hand.

"No. Don't you dare Sam."

"Dean," Sam said in attempt to reason.

"No!" Dean shouted cutting him off.

"Then I'll just do it myself." Cas said annoyed.

"Why do you have to do it at all Cas? This doesn't have to be a scuicide mission."

"The three of us can't take on all five of those angels with one knife. Adam is trapped in there most likely with Zachariah. We need to help him." Dean sighed loudly clearly upset.

"Fine. But I will not do it for you. I can't". Cas turned to Sam and he took the box cutter out of his hands. Cas slipped the tie off from around his neck and placed it in Dean's hand. Dean shook his head and pushed it into his pocket. He turned so he wouldn't have to look as Sam traced the sigil into Castiel's torso. When Sam finished Cas buttoned up his shirt again and turned back to Dean.

"Dean?"

"Just, be careful, Angel" Dean whispered placing one of his hands on the angel's face,

"I won't die, I promise you." Cas whispered back. Dean leaned in and kissed the other forcefully. They pressed their foreheads together and closed their eyes.

"I love you, Cas."

"I love you, too Dean." Cas pulled away and turned the other way to avoid the hurt look in Dean's eyes. He took a deep breath before stepping into the warehouse. They waited for the flash of light before they pushed the door open. Dean ran into the room to find Adam on the ground with blood around his mouth.

"Adam are you okay?" Dean said bending over to help him up.

"You came for me." The boy whispered, dazed.

"Yeah, well you're family."

"It's a trap!" Adam warned.

"I figured." Dean groaned. He lifted the boy off the ground and back onto his feet. When he looked up Zachariah stepped in front of him.

"Dean, did you really think it was going to be that easy?" The conniving angel asked.

"Did you?" Dean asked with a smirk. Sam ran up behind him with the angel knife prepared to kill him when Zachariah turned and blocked him and sent him flying.

"Sam!" Dean yelled.

"You know what I've learned from this experience Dean? Patience." Just then Adam started coughing up blood.

"Leave him alone son of a bitch!"

"I mean I thought I was downsized for sure and for us, firing? Pretty damn literal. But I shoulda trusted the boss man. It's all playing out like he said. You, me, you're hemorrhaging brothers," Zachariah said as Sam also started coughing up blood, "your boyfriend is dead, or at least close to it. You're finally ready," Dean looked between the two with sadness filling his eyes, "you know there's no other choice, there's never been a choice."

"Stop! Stop it right now!" Dean begged as tears formed in his eyes.

"In exchange for what?" Zachariah connived.

"Damnit Zachariah! Stop it please! I'll do it." Dean whispered.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"Okay yes! The answer is yes."

"Dean…" Sam groaned quietly.

"Do you hear me?! Call Michael down here you bastard!" Dean cried out

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Do I look like I'm lying?" Zachariah smirked, clearly pleased with himself as he started calling to Michael in Enochian.

"He's coming." Zachariah said excitedly and the room started to shake. Dean turned to look at Sam still lying on the ground looking horrified, a small smile pulled at the corner of Dean's mouth and he winked at his brother.

"'Course I have some conditions." Dean yelled to Zach.

"What?" The angel asked.

"A few people who's safety you have to guarantee before I say yes."

"Sure make a list" Zachariah said practically brushing him off.

"But, most of all, Michael can't have me until he disingrates you."

"What did you say?"

"I said, before Michael gets one piece of this sweet ass he has to turn you into a piece of charcoal."

"You really think Michael's gonna go for that?"

"Who's more important to him now? You or me?" Dean spat. Zachariah reached out for him and grabbed him forcefully by his jacket collar.

"You listen to me, you're nothing but a maggot. Do you know who I am after I deliver you to Michael?"

"Expendable."

"Michael's not going to kill me." Zachariah said proudly.

"Maybe not. But I am." Dean growled sliding the angel knife down his sleeve and running it through Zachariah's head, "That's for Cas you bastard." The room's shaking escalated and Dean looked between his brothers. Dean dove for Adam and helped him up.

"Can you walk?" He asked him hurridly.

"Yeah." Adam said and Dean released his hold and went for Sam picking him up and hoisting him on his shoulder supporting him as the hurried towards the exit. Adam was close behind them, but not close enough and as Dean makes it out the door with Sam the door swings shut, trapping Adam inside.

"Dean! Help! It won't open!" Adam called from the other side. Dean grabbed for the handle but it burnt his hand.

"Dean! Dean help!" Adam called out again but the door kept burning Dean.

"Hold on we'll get you out!" Dean called but he still couldn't touch the door, the light started to get brighter and the painful ringing got louder.

"Adam can you hear me!?" Dean yelled but it was too light, the warehouse went silent and it was dark again. Dean reached for the handle finally able to open it and ran in

"Adam?" Dean yelled but he was gone. The beautiful room wasn't there anymore and it was nothing more than an abandoned office. Dean turned towards Sam and sighed sadly

* * *

"You think Adam's okay?" Sam asked his brother as they drove back to Bobby's.

"Doubt it." Dean said sadly, "Cas either." he chocked, "But we'll get him."

"So." Sam said looking to Dean.

"So what?"

"I saw your eyes. I know you, you were totally rockin' yes back there. So, what changed your mind?"

"Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world is ending, the walls are coming down on us and, I look over to you all I can think is, 'stupid sonovabitch brought me here.' I just couldn't let you down. Or Cas."

"You didn't. You almost did, but you didn't."

"I owe you an apology." Dean told his brother.

"No man, you don't."

"Just let me say something, I don't know if it's being a big brother or what but, to me you've always been this snot nosed kid I've had to keep on the straight and narrow, I think we both know that's not you anymore. I mean hell you've grown up enough to find faith in me, all I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny. I say we fight them our own way."

"Sounds good." Sam agreed with a smile.

* * *

Sam looked over at Dean and sucked in a deep breath wondering why in the world he was going through with what he was about to say.

"Dean? There's something I have to tell you." Sam said tentatively.

"Kay?" Dean said nervously.

"You're probably gonna be pissed." Sam started

"Geeze Sammy just tell me." Dean snapped. He'd been pretty pissy since Sam had tried to address the Cas situation, making this a poor time to choose to admit this to him.

"I've been seeing someone." Sam admitted.

"Where in the hell have you time to, 'see someone'?" Dean said increduliously.

"Uh, I've had a few chances." Sam said with a gulp.

"Ew, Sam. I don't want to know."

"Oh my God don't even." Sam said annoyed.

"So why am I supposed to be pissed?" Dean asked

"Because of who it is."

"Jesus who the hell is it?"

"Gabriel." Sam whispered.

"You're shittin' me Sammy." Dean said looking to Sam with a smirk.

"….no" Sam whispered again. There was a moment of silence as Dean stared at Sam his smile quickly fading to a glare.

"Are you SERIOUS? After all the SHIT he put us, put YOU, through and you're gonna be but buddies with the bastard?!"

"Dean," Sam tried but Dean cut him off.

"No. No Sam. There isn't much you can say."

"I love him." Sam said plainly.

"Oh give me a break." Dean said angrily.

"You can love Cas but I can't love Gabe?"

"Cas hasn't tried, nor actually killed us! It's completely different and you know it."

"Alright so maybe it is. Either way I love him. Give him a chance?"

"After what he did to us? After what he did to _Cas_? Yeah, no."

"He kinda grows on you. Come on Dean. Please?"

"I can hardly believe that." Dean said turned to look at his brother and he was met with a pair of puppy eyes and he sighed.

"God I hate when you do that. Fine. Fine. I'll try, but you have to tell Cas first."

"Alright." Sam said beeming. Dean rolled his eyes and shock his head. _Bobby is gonna think we've gone crazy _Dean thought with a smile.

* * *

**a/n: So what'd you think? Kinda goofy huh? Oh well. And don't judge me on the part where I had Dean sing Angeles to Cas. I have been fangirling over Jensen singing for the past month and I couldn't help myself. I'll post a link at the end so those of you who haven't heard can bask in the orgasmic glory of Jensen singing and playing guitar. The song is also on iTunes btw. I bought that shizz. Lol. So next will be 5.19. This stuff is getting super tedious if you couldn't tell by how much I skipped. I just can't wait to get to the sequel 'cause that's all my own. I keep getting really excited about it. But fret not, I'll get there soon! Much love! Tootles!**


	7. Chapter 7

I miss those blue eyes

How you kissed me at night

I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise

Like the taste of your smile

I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you

What I should have said

No I never told you

I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you

I can't believe I still want you

After all the things we've

Been through

I miss everything about you

Without you

I see your blue eyes

Every time I close mine

You make it hard to see

Where I belong to when I'm not

Around you

It's like I'm not with me

But I never told you

What I should have said

No I never told you

I just held it in

And now I miss everything

About you

I can't believe I still want

You

After all the things we've

Been through

I miss everything about you

Without you

But I never told you

What I should have said

No I never told you

I just held it in

And now I miss everything

About you

(still you're gone)

Can't believe that I still want

You

After all the things we've

Been through

I miss everything about you

Without you

"Should I check on him?" Sam asked finding himself staring at the stairs again.

"No. Just let him be. He'll come down eventually." Bobby said with a tired tone.

Dean had been hiding in his room at Bobby's for almost two days. He had gotten up to the bathroom a few times and took an hour long shower yesterday but Sam couldn't tell you the last time he ate anything. Sam hadn't even seen his face since they got back from California. He was growing more and more worried about him since Cas had blasted himself to who knows where. Sam stared up the stairs for a while longer before finally returning his attention back to his research.

"Hey there." Gabriel said with a down trodden tone. Everyone was moping. Both Sam and Bobby jumped a mile at the unfamiliar voice. Bobby just sighed sadly when he looked up to see it wasn't Cas. Sam had introduced Gabe to Bobby the other morning. He had just looked between the two and smiled to himself. Sam of course had gotten teased but he knew Bobby meant well.

"Hi." Sam said with a weak smile.

"I've looked everywhere. I can't find him."

"You think he's dead?" Sam asked. Gabriel just gave him a look. Neither wanted to believe he was dead but given the facts it seemed that it was most likely true.

"Who's telling Dean?" Bobby asked.

"Give him a few more days. He'll probably come to the conclusion himself." Sam said. Gabriel nodded and moved from his position of leaning against the door jam to joining Sam on the couch. He sat with a pout on his face as Sam put his arm around his shoulders.

"I can't believe he's dead. I can't." Gabe whispered.

"I know neither do I but..." Sam said trailing off.

"I know." Gabriel whispered softly. Sam pulled Gabriel in and kissed him on the forehead.

"Let's go to bed." Sam said removing his arm from the angel's shoulders and taking his hand instead.

"Night Bobby." Sam said with an attempted smile.

"Night boys." Bobby said with the same sad smile.

Dean was far past crying. He had fallen into more of a dry heaving state as time wore on. The heavy sobs had been traded in for tremors all through his body and all he could think about was having his angel there to rub his back and calm him down. But his angel wasn't going to come and comfort him. The impact of what had happened hadn't hit him till much later. It wasn't until they finally made it back to Bobby's that he began to realize Cas was definitely most likely dead. He had stomped up into his room curled into the sheets and promptly started sobbing. He kept flashing back to their last kiss and he wished he had taken more. More than just a shallow kiss and his silky blue tie. He had been too confident they would all make it out that he didn't take every advantage of what he now knew had been their last seconds together. He felt absolutely ridiculous for crying so much but no matter what he couldn't stop. Even if he could eventually calm himself down the sobs would just return tenfold. He felt like an idiot. What grown man sobs like that? None he knew. He felt like a twelve year old girl crying over her boyfriend breaking up with her. But this was so different. The only person Dean had ever let himself love, let himself admit to loving, was gone. And he probably wasn't coming back. He wrapped the tie tightly along his knuckles and made a tight fist, grinding the fabric into his raw skin. He wished the tie had the capability to make him bleed because that's what he needed right now, something to remind him he was still real, even if the world felt fake. He longed to see the silky red seep out of his knuckles. He knew if he didn't sleep now he'd do something he'd regret so he trudged down the stairs to find the strongest liquor he could and poured himself a generous amount. He downed it all in two gulps and crawled back up the stairs and back into his room. He collapsed onto the bed and pulled the pillow against his body wishing it was Cas' cool body being pressed up against his warmer one. Dean was always warmer while Cas was much, much colder. Dean thought about the angel's cool breath trailing along his neck and he felt his whole body shiver. He had to remind himself that Cas' lips weren't hovering over his skin, it was just his cruel imagination. He bit down hard on his lip and closed his eyes tightly. He focused hard on sleep and when it never came he cussed under his breath. The effects of the alcohol were kicking in and his senses were dulled. He felt like he was nothing. He felt empty and raw. Like he had nothing left. He felt lost. It was then he realized Cas was definitely gone. He'd never felt that empty since he had been around Cas, The angel filled him up. Made him feel whole. And now that he was gone the missing piece was missing again. There were so many things Dean had wanted to tell him. More than just I love you. Because honestly, I love you could not even begin to cover what Dean felt for Cas. Dean couldn't put his feelings into words. He could never begin to describe the flutter in his chest when he heard the familiar rustle of Cas coming and going, or the excited turn in his stomach when Cas touched him, or the tickle in his nerves when they kissed or the pounding in his heart when the bright blue eyes stared into his. Dean felt the tears start up again and he cussed heavily. He was so sick of crying but it was the only emotion he could muster up. He wasn't even angry. He was just depressed.

"Cas?" Dean croaked out, "I love you. I wasn't done loving you. How dare you leave me."

Dean rolled himself out of bed and managed to stand up. He had no clue what time it was but it was dark outside and no one was around so he figured pretty late. He slumped into the kitchen and grabbed the same bottle as before only this time instead of pouring a glass he took the whole bottle and trudged back up the stairs. When he reached his room he plopped back down on the bed and chugged a third of the half full bottle. He didn't care in the least what side affects would come he just wanted sleep. He swallowed another mouthful and left the bottle on the floor. His body ached as he curled into a ball on his bed. He took note of the empty space next to him knowing it would fit his angel perfectly. He bit his tongue hard and squeezed his eyes shut trying to forget the pain. He could feel his mind shutting down and he let it happen begging for the sleep.

When Dean woke up he immediately felt his stomach lurch. Quickly he made his way to the bathroom and dropped on his knees in front of the toilet. As the alcohol came back up Dean heard someone else enter the bathroom. Sam sat on the edge of the tub next to Dean and rubbed Dean's back. Dean finished emptying his stomach and slumped against the toilet. He closed his eyes and leaned into his brother's touch.

"It's three o'clock Dean." Sam whispered.

"I know what you're getting at Sammy. And yeah, I know." Dean whispered back sadly.

"Castiel wouldn't want this for you." Sam tried.

"I know." Dean whispered. He lifted his head to face his brother who offered him a sympathetic smile. Dean stuck out his hand and Sam took it readily helping the older hunter to his feet. Dean followed Sam down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hey." Bobby said as he looked up from his book.

"Hi Bobby." Dean said a hint of depression lacing his voice.

"Hungry?" Bobby asked him.

"Not really." Dean said sitting down at the kitchen table.

"You haven't eaten for three days. You need to eat something." Bobby tried.

"Yeah I know, but..." Dean mumbled.

"But nothing. I'm not letting you destroy yourself over this."

"Over this?" Dean said with eyebrows raised. "_This_. Seriously Bobby. _This_, is Cas we're talking about. Cas. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. He isn't just some girl I've been fucking for a couple of weeks Bobby. I love him. And now he's gone."

"I know Dean. And I'm real sorry, I am. We all miss him, but there is no way I'm letting you wreck yourself over him. You think Cas wants this? What would he say if he saw you like this? Come on Dean! The kid has risked everything so you could save the world and you're gonna repay him by giving up? I don't think so." Bobby growled from his chair before rolling away angrily. Dean scowled but deep down he knew Bobby was right. He ground the heel of his hands into his eyes and groaned.

"I got a lead on a horseman. Pestilence. Get your sorry ass out of here and stop the Apocalypse. You damn idjit." Bobby wheeled in and gave Sam coordinates and wheeled away again.

"You heard him. Come on. Maybe a long drive in the Impala will make you feel better." Sam said placing a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Maybe." Dean whispered and stood up to follow his brother out the door.

a/n: so the song in the beginning is a song by Colbie Caillat called I Never Told You. I really love the song and I thought it fit pretty well. Also I realized I never put a link for Jensen's song. So if anybody wants it this is it: watch?v=gyjfDUwH3vc Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I' not too happy with it but I guess it's good enough. Next chapter will be Hammer of the Gods, 5.19. Much love, tootles!


End file.
